Republicans: Prudes With Brain Damage

I don’t understand Republicans sometimes. I think it’s mostly because I was born after lead was no longer used in gasoline and paint.

Take, for example, the recent events in the Republican primary. Herman Cain abandoned his bid for the presidency, not after a clear pattern of sexual harassment had been established, but when his mistress of 13 years came forward. Apparently forcing a woman’s head into your lap is not as serious as cheating on your wife with a woman who consents.

Call me crazy, but when it comes to rape, I don’t take a “to each his own” stance. At least infidelity isn’t a crime, it’s just really, really sleazy.

So, in an apparent migration of philanderers, Cain’s supporters seem to have settled on (surprise, surprise) the other person in the race who is known for sticking his dick into vaginas that do not belong to his wife.

These are the same people who think that gay couples have no right to get married, because it would trample on the “sanctity” of marriage. They are basically tripping over themselves to support any horndog they can find.

Hint to Romney: now would be a great time to bring out those extra wives you’re hiding. I think that would play well with Republicans these days. If that doesn’t work, you could always suggest something crazy that Republicans would enjoy, like wanting to ban birth control outright or bringing back whites-only pools. You know, something traditional.