Thursday, March 31, 2011

Pithy News 3/31/11

Charlie Sheen may not be acting like an asshole for free much longer. He has been offered his job back after “One and a Half Men” didn’t do well with test audiences.

Japan is still working to keep a handful of nuclear reactors from melting down. Experts say this is the worst Japanese disaster since 1998’s “Godzilla,” starring Matthew Broderick.

Donald Trump is supposedly considering a run for the presidency. Just what America needs in these times of high unemployment: a president known for firing people.

Newt Gingrich says the US is in danger of becoming a “secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists.” Asked if this is a contradiction, he replied that it’s as feasible as being a Christian nation that hates the poor and sick.

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