Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Am I A Liberal?

I sometimes ask myself, “Should I call myself a liberal?” Usually it’s right after having written something implying I am liberal, then reading it over.

I just don’t feel like a liberal.

It’s sort of like asking, “Am I white?” I can get really literal and say, “Well, my skin is more pale peach, I’m not sure I’m really white.” But when people say white, they mean people like me. I don't have an ounce of non-European blood in my traceable ancestry. Yet, I just don’t see myself as strongly identifying with the label “white.”

And it’s not that I disavow labels. I’m comfortable with the label atheist (skipping right over the weak “agnostic” designation). I’m comfortable saying I’m a male, though I don’t find that label to be particularly meaningful to me outside of the confines of sex. I’m fine with saying I’m an American, fat, and left-handed.

But when it comes to being liberal or white, I just go along with the assumptions of others out of convenience. Maybe if I wasn’t a mongrel mix of Sicilian, Irish, Dutch, Slavic, German, Austrian and who knows what else… maybe if I had one singular label to rally around, I might have been exposed to the environment which would have instilled in me the pride of being born out of a particular race. I lucked out, in this regard.

The situation is similar with the label “liberal.” I don’t have a lot of politicians I can point to and say I like. I would vote for Dennis Kucinich or Bernie Sanders for president, but that pretty much makes me the laughing-stock of the “liberals.”

I would say Democrats aren’t liberals, just centrists, but maybe I am over-stepping. Maybe Democrats are liberals, and I’m just something else. It certainly could be the case, because I feel little or no camaraderie with the Democrats as a whole.

I guess that makes me left-of-liberal… or “LOL.” Fitting, because I quite often feel like a joke when talking with liberals. Still, I’d rather be the punch line than one of these wishy-washy do-nothings who pride themselves on their ineffectiveness.

As least I am ashamed of how ineffective I am.


  1. "Liberal" and "conservative" are relative terms describing the least common denominator of each side of the aisle.

    "Conservatives" can be divided into two basic groups: religious fundamentalists and secular capitalists (and a delusional overlap group that tries to pretend that capitalism doesn't necessitate secularism).

    "Liberals" can be divided into so many overlapping groups that I lost count; the only thing they have in common is that they disagree with "conservatives" on the particular issues they care about.

  2. I don't know if secular capitalists make up their own significant group among conservatives... I've met more than a few, but I feel they are a highly marginalized minority in the party.

    I look at them as the people who say they are libertarians in public because they're too embarrassed to admit they vote Republican, and I don't think they are very influential.

    What about your "I'm old" Republicans? Or your "I'm a tough guy who thinks voting this way makes my penis bigger, because the truck didn't do it" Republicans?

  3. "Liberals" are faggots.

  4. When did you become a liberal?

  5. I've always been a liberal, just not a phony modern American "liberal", you stupid faggot.

  6. So am I a "liberal," or am I just a stupid faggot?

  7. Oh, and where is the 0% option on your stupid slanted tax poll, faggot, I mean, "liberal"?

  8. At about 30%, they don't pay any taxes, anyway.

  9. Bret, they're one and the same.

  10. For high income individuals, that statement is generally false, but even if true, that doesn't justify having an income tax in the first place.

  11. See, I didn't realize, because you said "liberals" are stupid faggots. Logic dictates that this is not the same as saying stupid faggots are "liberals."

    Thanks for clearing that up.

  12. I decided to cap the poll with actual income tax rates. Maybe there's some country out there with a 20% tax on the wealthiest earners, but I haven't heard of it.

  13. [I'm imagining a Stalinist angrily coming here and asking why there's no choice for 100%.]

  14. Woohoo to being left handed! Now that that's out of the way, I agree that most democrats are not liberals. Admittedly, this is just from my crazy lefty point of view. I did read somewhere (New York Times?) that both parties have become more liberal/conservative, but the recent shift by the GOP has moved Dems a bit to the right to try and compromise. Which is the exact opposite of how things should work IMO.

    I think I'm pretty obviously liberal. I sometimes feel uncomfortable labeling myself as such though because I feel like it minimizes the thought that goes into any position I take. (If that makes sense.) I didn't really feel the need to worry about it in San Diego though. It wasn't until I moved to Salt Lake that I felt like I had to own it. Same with my atheism in fact.


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