Saturday, June 23, 2012

Snippet: Manscaping

I don’t keep a strict regimen of maintenance, but I like to keep the old bush trimmed. The problem with shaving (at least, for a guy like me…) is that it’s hard to know where to stop. I end up trying to do a sort of reverse-bikini, where the only places I shave are those which would be covered by a speedo, although this still leaves the matter of the taint.

There’s quite a lot of debate on the subject among philosophers, but I’m in the “Stop at the back of the balls” camp. If you start shaving the taint, it’s only a matter of time before you’re shaving your asshole, and then you have to shave the whole ass, cheeks and all, but then where do you stop? Do you just keep going all the way up your back? What, now you have hair on the front but a shaved back? When shaving the ass, you end up shaving around to the thigh, and you end up doing the whole leg. Suddenly, your arms (which were never a problem before) look bushy, and it’s got to go.

Now you look a lot younger, but a few days later every inch of your body is covered in stubble, and don’t even get me started on the itching and ingrown hairs…


  1. I once heard a comedian say it's like dusting the dirt off a counter for women but getting the dressing out of a tossed salad for men.

    1. That shows how much more evolved women are, which is furthered by the fact that I spent a whole minute trying to formulate a "tossed salad" joke before giving up.


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