I consider myself an insult aficionado, and I am particularly interested in the etymology of various offensive epithets (all part of the growing field of research I created, Misanthropology, which is the study of people’s hatred for each other). The problem is (and I do see it as a problem), I am a white male, and there’s not a lot of offensive things a person can say to me. Sure, there are some, but nothing you can say to a white guy really carries that extra “oomph,” the way a word like “nigger,” “cunt,” or any of a number of other slurs and terms of less-than-endearment can do for other demographics.
Frankly… I feel kind of left out, and I find myself (like I imagine many of you do) at a loss for how to insult some white dudes, usually resorting to the tired old practice of feminizing, or perhaps bringing up questions regarding their sexual orientation. Yeah, I could criticize what someone says, finding fault in their ideas, but let’s be honest: sometimes it’s not about “proving someone wrong” (you can’t prove a fool wrong without their approval, unfortunately), it’s about telling them what an impotent little prick they are.
Ultimately, I think people would be less offended by what white males say if they had some things that were really offensive to say back at them. In a way, it isn’t fair for me to say “nigger” when black people have nothing of equal cultural weight to say in response back at me (or white people in general).
Sure, there are a bunch of different ethnic slurs for all of the various types of white people. I think you could write several pages just about what the British, Irish and Scottish thought of each other. And of course you got your wops, kykes, huns, frogs, polacks, and those stupid Eastern European countries that don’t even warrant me Googling them (I’m talking to you, Croatia). Honestly, who has time to get to know a person enough to distinguish between all of these different groups and then research how to insult them in their native tongue? You want to insult the person, not learn about their heritage. That would be so… so… multicultural!
So, for the lazy and unintellectually inclined people out there who want a blanket insult for white people, I compiled this list. I can’t fight everyone’s battle for them, but I can point you towards the ammunition and suggest you aim for the groin.
9. White Bread
8. White Trash
7. White Devil