WTF Moment of the Month

It’s been a while, but then I saw that this exists:

I wonder if there’s a matching Pentagon ashtray…

WTF Moment of the Month

You’re supposed to kill your father, not your mother. Oedipus fail.

WTF Moment of the Month

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer Robbed By Man Armed With Machete

by Nina Totenberg

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer has been the victim of an armed robbery, but is unharmed.

Breyer, his wife, Joanna, and a friend were at the Breyer vacation home on the Caribbean island of Nevis when a man broke in with a machete and confronted them. The intruder fled with about $1,000 in cash. A Supreme Court spokeswoman said no one was hurt, and that the robbery was reported to local authorities. The FBI is said to be aiding in the investigation.

This is not the first time that a Supreme Court justice has been the victim of a crime. In 2004 Justice David Souter was mugged while jogging, and sustained minor injuries. In 1996 Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had her purse snatched while walking with her husband and daughter near her Washington, D.C., apartment.

What the fuck?

WTF Moment of the Month

I thought nothing would ever make me see Santorum as anything more than frothy shit and lube produced from anal sex, but then…

I found out that Rick “Abortion Is Wrong In All Cases” Santorum’s wife had a second-term abortion in 1996 because her health was at risk.

That’s right, Rick “Abortion Should Be Illegal, Even In Cases of Rape and Incest” Santorum paid for what he has repeatedly defined publicly as a child killing.

Oh Rick… Rick, Rick, Rick… welcome to the Abortionist Club.

What are the odds, given his vitriolic hate for gay people, that he’s banging men on the side? I’ll just leave this here and let you, the reader, be the judge of that:

If that is not the face (and sweater vest) of a guy who cruises public bathrooms, I don’t know what is.

WTF Moment of the Month

I know it’s the first of the month, but seriously… this made me actually scream at my computer at 7:30am.

A Kentucky church (Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church) has banned interracial couples from its congregation.

That isn’t the part that I “What the fuck”ed about. That part I expect out of a state like Kentucky, a state that (like my former home state of Indiana) was the recipient of so much white-flight. You won’t find more consummate racists than you will in the Midwest. No, the part that made me lose it and realize this is a country of stupid morons too stupid and moronic to realize that they are stupid morons is the response of the church goers when outsiders reacted to such blatant bigotry.

The part that got me was that the man who crafted the ban and the church itself who voted to enact it are claiming they are not racist. Oh… well… I don’t hate you guys, though I hope you die… and if I see you in a dark alley, I will slit your throats… but I don’t hate you, and this is not a threat…

If you need any further proof that saying, “I’m not racist,” means absolutely fuck-all, look no further. If you literally ban interracial couples from attending your church, you are racist. There’s no discussion, there’s no debate, there’s no technicality that you can resort to, you’re just good ol’ fashioned racist pricks.

What I love is that by backtracking and pretending a spade is not a spade (you know… just that a spade can’t marry a diamond), this Kentucky church proves that they are not only too ignorant to accept an interracial couple, they’re too ignorant (or cowardly) to even realize (or admit) they’re racist. And since it’s Kentucky, I can only assume the man who suggested the ban was the jilted cousin of a woman who married a black guy.

Am I a bad atheist for hoping this couple does find a church they can be accepted in? No, and I hope they are able to find happiness… but I suggest looking outside Kentucky.

So remember: racism isn’t dead, it just hides where most of us would never, ever want to go. Stay classy, Kentucky.

WTF Moment of the Month

It’s been awhile since I honestly WTF’d. But it happened. I was alone in my home and I actually uttered, “What the fuck?”

I feel like you deserve the same experience I had.

Headline: Drunk Moose Gets Stuck In Apple Tree

The opening line is downright epic: It was a dark, windy and rainy night when Per Johansson returned from work to his home in Saro just south of Gothenburg, Sweden.

(full story here)

Apparently apples ferment in the belly of a Moose, and they get drunk.

What makes the story even better is that the 10-year-old son of the guy who found the moose took pictures of the ordeal and sold them to CNN, because he’s saving up for a video game console.

So, basically a wasted moose was rescued from an apple tree, and because of that, a little kid got a new, expensive toy.

WTF Moment of the Month

It’s been a while, and I thought I had been doing so much better. I had kept my shit together during a lot of news. I didn’t even WTF when Osama bin Laden was killed. I certainly didn’t WTF over the Weiner scandal, but this…

Anthony Weiner, you are the biggest fool I have ever seen. You’re one of the few liberal pit bulls that actually stand up for the Democrats, and you let picture exchanges force you to resign. It’s not even a sex scandal, it’s a Twitter mishap.

Larry Craig tried to have sex with an undercover cop in a public restroom, and that guy marched through his full term, pushing his bullshit agenda along the way. Now, Democrats lack another voice who might actually stand up to Republican lunacy rather than shrivel and shrink back whenever there is confrontation.

For demonstrating the pettiness and foolishness of the Democratic Party, for arguably rising to a new level of frivolous irrelevance, and for publicly denouncing a man for sending images of himself to consenting adults while Democrats openly take bribes (aka “contributions”) from the industries and unions they were elected to regulate and correct… for all that, I have to say: what the fuck, Democrats, what the fuck?

WTF Moment of the Month

Just in under the wire for March, having the Fox News feed on my homepage finally paid off. Behold: the most disturbing thing you may ever read. The headline says it all.

“Obese Ohio Man Dies After Being Fused to Chair for 2 Years”

This guy didn’t stand up from his chair in two years. Mind you, this is a chair, not a toilet. When officers arrived at the scene, the man’s skin had “fused” to the fabric of the chair, and he was sitting in his own feces and urine… and maggots. At least they don’t have to worry about a funeral, since the body was already found in turd.

*ba dum bump ch*

Most of this story reads like a bad joke. He was so big, they had to cut a hole in the floor to get him out of the house. One of the officers threw away his uniform after making contact with him during the removal. The landlady never realized because whenever she came over, he would be covered in a blanket. But the most shocking part about this? He was being fed by his girlfriend.

The unnamed man will be remembered for his chilling role in “Seven,” as the 17 year old blonde cheerleader you chatted with online when you were in high school, and for being the envy of everyone who plays World of Warcraft.

WTF Moment of the Month

It’s been a while, but it finally happened. I couldn’t help but what-the-fuck this story. It encapsulates two of my favorite blogging topics: religion and politics. The title pretty much says it all: China tells living Buddhas to obtain permission before they reincarnate.

Now… I don’t even know how to approach this. If I come at it politically, it seems like, “Well, here’s a government trying to regulate something they have no business regulating,” but if I come at it religiously, I have to think, “Hmm, this makes about as much sense as those Southern municipalities that passed laws banning Satan from their town.”

I’m not sure how they’re going to enforce this. Well, I am, but I’m also not. What will happen is that when a Lama dies, the Chinese government will suppress any attempts by monks to seek out the reincarnated Buddha, but how they plan to do this (especially if they look outside of China) is beyond me.

If I was a Tibetan monk, I would just claim to have received permission from a reincarnated Chairman Mao.

WTF Moment of the Month

I remember an article I read a few weeks ago, about a woman who was admitted to a Vancouver hospital with acid burns to her face…

Storro said she held the press conference to draw attention to efforts to find the attacker, but also to talk about her faith.

“I’m here today because of Jesus Christ,” she said.

The strength of her faith will allow her to move forward, Storro said, though several times she said that the attacker coming forward to admit what she had done would be an enriching part of that.

“I have no enemies,” she said, “In time, I'm going to forgive her. Then I can move on.”

And you know what? I felt genuinely sorry for her. Even though her story was so stupid:

“For some reason I had this feeling that I needed to go buy some sunglasses,” she said. They ultimately saved the vision of a woman who has been partially deaf since childhood. “That's Jesus for sure,” she said.

“To be hard of hearing and blind. That would drive them crazy,” she said, laughing while motioning to her parents on either side of her.

Did you get that? She believes the urge to buy sunglasses was Jesus saving her vision. Hokey, but she’s deaf, so… I just look past it.

Then, the plot thickens…

It turns out, the whole thing was a hoax, and she is being brought up on charges. She threw acid in her own face and gave police a description of a black woman:

It boggles my mind… try reading those quotes above one more time, in retrospect.

WTF Moment of the Month

The worst part of this call is not that Dr. Laura says “nigger” eleven times to a black caller who has sought her advice for dealing with racial intolerance, and that’s why this cry for help is my WTF Moment of the Month.

No, the worst part of this call is that after several minutes of constant condescension and rude interruptions (by Laura, not the caller who Laura should be listening to), she cuts off the caller completely and gives a sort of “moral of the story” speech.

All right. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Can’t have this argument. You know what? If you’re that hypersensitive about color and don’t have a sense of humor, don’t marry out of your race.

Don’t you see? If you have a problem with people acting racist around you, become a racist and marry within your own race. If you can’t beat them, join them. Brilliant.

But then my “WTF” echoed, when I found out Sarah Palin is weighing in on, of all things, Twitter:

Dr.Laura:don't retreat...reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence"isn't American,not fair")

And

Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice,America!

The last is a reference to Dr. Laura’s disgraceful “resignation,” and the fact that she attributed it to her desire to

regain my First Amendment rights. I want to be able to say what's on my mind and in my heart and what I think is helpful and useful without somebody getting angry, some special interest group deciding this is the time to silence a voice of dissent and attack affiliates, attack sponsors. I'm sort of done with that.

Okay, I’m all WTF’d out.

WTF Moment of the Month

I know the month is young, but what are the odds of something beating this:

WTF Moment of the Month

WTF Moment of the Month

From the Huffington Post:

Below is an image of Ardi Rizal, aged 2, who smokes two packs of cigarettes a day.

The Sumatran toddler was first given a cigarette when he was just 18 months old.

'I'm not worried about his health, he looks healthy,' shrugged the boy's father Mohammad Rizal.

'He cries and throws tantrums when we don't let him smoke. He's addicted.'

Two-Year Old Toddler Smokes Cigarettes - Watch more Funny Videos

Seems healthy? The kid is chubby, and that's putting it politely.

Advice to kid: hold the smoke in. You're not even inhaling it half the time. And quit trying to lick the lit end. What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't look cool if you burn yourself, which negates the whole point of smoking. Kids today...

WTF Moment of the Month

[Thanks to PF at Forever in Hell for pointing this out...]

The following quotes are my favorite from the blog post titled “SLAVERY IS NOT WRONG.”

If slavery is wrong, then wives should not submit to their husbands, children should not obey parents, women should became equal to men and preach in churches ( which is forbidden in the bible by the way), and mostly no one should call Jesus their master or submit to the authority of God.

...

I do not believe slavery is wrong, because a) The bible does not condemn slavery and b) Slavery makes so much sense and to say slavery is wrong we rob the gospel off its meaning and even Election. The concept of total submission and slavery is at the very heart of Christ's gospel.

Any guesses on the demographics of the poster? If you guessed black female, you’re correct. You can read the whole post here.