Monday, April 13, 2009

Swords: The Other Murder Weapon

Guns get all the press, but a much colder, more silent killer threatens America.

A 77-year old woman died in Indianapolis trying to break up a sword fight. There aren't many details in this article, but one fact I couldn't overlook is the name of the older man involved: Adolf. The swords used in this attack were a Japanese officer's sword and a sword with a "thicker blade." As a medeival weapon enthusiast, I wait with baited breath to know precisely what it was.

This wouldn't happen if people didn't have weapons just lying around. In the good old days, people just beat the crap out of each other with their fists. The fight was over quick because hitting someone in the face hurts both people, and you punch yourself out even if you win. Now, every kid has a replica sword of some kind. Why?

Douchebags sell these things everywhere. I hate salesmen in general, but people who sell dangerous stuff that has no practical purpose are a special kind of morality whore. At least some of them get what they deserve. Leave it to professional ninjas.

The only thing funnier than that video would be this. I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but what if the whole thing was a Scientology set up? Vince Offer was planning to sue the church for what he calls unfair practices. He alleges they told his Scientology co-workers to abandon his business after he left the church. How expensive could it be to pay a girl to bite the ShamWow guy's tongue and provoke an attack? It's all coming together...


  1. "If you criminalize swords, only criminals will have swords"

    "Swords don't kill people; people [with swords] kill people."

    It is funny how NRA slogans sound when you change the weapon in question.

  2. I figured why only pick on guns, swords kill people too (and apparently even innocent bystanders).

  3. Why do we blame to the sword for murdering the old lady. If it is the sword to be blamed and not the person holding it then punish the sword not the man.

  4. Why not punish both? Melt down the sword and lock up the one who wields it. Neither will be a nuissance again.


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