Will Swine Be The End Of Us?

Most Americans are finally showing their true colors again. For eight years, we had crazy religious nuts telling us the world was going to end. Now, it’s pseudo-science’s turn.

This swine flu nonsense is just one in a long series of scientific threats that don’t scare me. I sometimes wonder if people WANT to run around afraid. Is there some innate drive in humanity to fear ultimate destruction?

Stories such as this one show that even scientific-sounding people can still be crazy eschatologists. That word may be unfamiliar to most, because we’ve become so accustomed to religious vocabulary that terms like “apocalypse” and “Armageddon” have come to mean “end of the world.”

In fact, apocalypse merely means “lifting of the veil,” a poetic metaphor for John’s revelation of the end of times. Armageddon translates to Mount of Megiddo, which is the location of the final battle in Christianity’s eschatology. Neither apocalypse nor Armageddon are true synonyms for “end of times;” eschaton is the only word used in English that literal definition.

Science has always appealed to me because it tends to be pro-active and level-headed. While religion tends to act passively while dictating demands passionately, scientists tend to calmly get their hands dirty and report what they find.

Science is supposed to be optimistic. It should recognize problems and resolve them. It certainly does no good worrying that the world will end. Instead of worrying, we should just take what precautions we can. Will people consider me a prophet because I predict, here and now, that pig flu will blow over like every other overblown threat? I hope not.

Newspapers are in dire straits, and they’ll report on anything remotely frightening in order to sell copies. Hanta virus, SARS, avian flu, monkey pox, Ebola, even killer bees and terrorism: I let none of them scare me. I trust in the power of humanity to adapt. I believe the impossible is possible. After all, a pig flu.

Virtues - Commitment

I should begin by pointing out I have not been very committed to blogging lately. Things have gotten really busy, but my schedule is opening up (so to speak).

I'm going to work for the last time Friday. Nothing bad happened, the school year is just ending. However, it doesn't look like I'll be asked back next fall due to budget cuts. I'm the highest paid tutor where I work, and I already passed on a raise last January in order to stay employed this long. In all my years of half-assing life, I never dreamed I would lose a job for being over-qualified.

Looking for a job right now is about as fun as it sounds. However, it isn’t even my top priority. My wedding is in about three weeks, and there’s plenty to be done. I have yet to finish the vows/ceremony. We’re having a self-uniting marriage, so there is no officiate, and I’m writing the entire thing from scratch. I want there to be no mention (positive or negative) of religion. I’m not worried, since it looks like I’ll have plenty of time of unemployment before the wedding.

I don’t know what language “commitment” comes from, and I guess I don’t really care. I like the word and what it stands for. I like it much more than other terms for similar concepts. In particular, the word “duty” never sat well with me. For one thing, it’s a pseudo-homophone with “doody.” I don’t like the idea of duty, either, because it implies that people are expected to do certain things, regardless of who they are or what they believe. I think the only obligation we have in society is to stay out of the way unless you’re pitching in to help.

There’s no denying there are things in life we have to do, even if we don’t want to. However, duty often calls us to work towards an end we have no interest in. Armies and businesses rely on duty. “I was just doing my job” is the classic defense of scoundrels, from Nuremburg to Wall Street. Commitment, however, appeals to me because it always seems to apply to a personal goal.

Love is a compromise. It is also an acknowledgement that two people can achieve more together than they can alone, materially and emotionally. What makes us give up our egotistical lives in order to make it work with someone else? There is something gained, even as we are giving something up.

Of course, commitment may be crazy. In fact, we say people who are insane should be "committed." People also "commit" murder, or crimes of passion. The consequences are always severe when we commit, maybe because taking a stand is so hard.

I look forward to the commitment of marriage because I know there is no way I could ever be the person I hope to one day become without her. Nothing else in my life hinges on belief the way love does, and it is times like these I am reminded I am not without some kind of faith. There isn't much certainty in the world, but I can say with complete honesty and conviction that I have found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with (since we all know she'll outlive me).

Virtues - Detachment

Detachment entails overcoming desire and/or withdrawing into oneself. Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism all include it prominently in their teachings. Paul goes so far as to say unmarried men and virgin women need not worry themselves with finding a mate, “for the form of this world is passing away” (1 Corinthians 7:25-31).

The first aspect of the virtue, overcoming desire, is an idyllic state of being. Often sought, rarely attained, the loosening of every fetter fastening us to this world is a thing much easier to talk about than to do. Many use self-sacrifice as a training tool, with the most apparent being the ritual fast. The believer abstains from eating, despite their hunger. In this way, the adherent may learn to suppress natural urges and motivations. The Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, has several legends premised on his proclivity for fasting.

The second aspect of detachment, the retreat into oneself, is also addressed as a positive in most religions. Prayer, meditation, Luke 17:21, etc, imply that there is something of value to be found within oneself, and that there is a need for calm self-focus. I can’t say I agree completely, but there is clearly a need to improve ourselves before judging others (and Jesus agrees in Matthew 7:3).

Beyond this, there is a danger of becoming self-involved and aloof if one delves too deeply into one’s mind/soul. Calm reflection may be a necessity, but to condemn and ignore the world is not something I think would work if practiced on a global scale. The hermit has his place; it is not inside society, but outside screaming crazy things about the end being neigh. For some reason, people sometimes listen and take them seriously. That, boys and girls, is how religions are born.

This is certainly the most seldom practiced of all virtues. While most people vocally claim to follow a system that preaches detachment, we are a society (and planet) obsessed with material existence. I see no fault in this, as this is the only world I perceive to exist. However, this leaves “Christian America” with no footing. We are a country that practices usury, fiscal manipulation, material obsession, and we plaster God’s name all over our money (for good luck, maybe?). If we’re a Christian nation, we’re a horrible one. Thank God we aren’t.

Systems that push detachment believe in life after death, so there is little problem in suggesting we deny ourselves the satisfaction of the here and now. I believe there is life before death. But unlike the message of greed, "He with the most toys wins," I believe the one who laughs most wins.

Swords: The Other Murder Weapon

Guns get all the press, but a much colder, more silent killer threatens America.

A 77-year old woman died in Indianapolis trying to break up a sword fight. There aren't many details in this article, but one fact I couldn't overlook is the name of the older man involved: Adolf. The swords used in this attack were a Japanese officer's sword and a sword with a "thicker blade." As a medeival weapon enthusiast, I wait with baited breath to know precisely what it was.

This wouldn't happen if people didn't have weapons just lying around. In the good old days, people just beat the crap out of each other with their fists. The fight was over quick because hitting someone in the face hurts both people, and you punch yourself out even if you win. Now, every kid has a replica sword of some kind. Why?

Douchebags sell these things everywhere. I hate salesmen in general, but people who sell dangerous stuff that has no practical purpose are a special kind of morality whore. At least some of them get what they deserve. Leave it to professional ninjas.

The only thing funnier than that video would be this. I don't want to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but what if the whole thing was a Scientology set up? Vince Offer was planning to sue the church for what he calls unfair practices. He alleges they told his Scientology co-workers to abandon his business after he left the church. How expensive could it be to pay a girl to bite the ShamWow guy's tongue and provoke an attack? It's all coming together...

Quick Easter Joke

Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?














































They keep falling through the holes in his hands. Happy Easter!

The True Meaning of Easter

As we celebrate another Easter, let us stop for a minute to consider the true meaning of the holiday. It isn't about silly things like chocolate, eggs, rabbits, or Jesus. It's about Eastre, Germanic goddess of the dawn (though her name has many alternate spellings, such as Ostara).

What is essentially the month of April was called Eastre's month (Eoster-monath) by early Germanic people. April was a time of rebirth, when winter was overcome by spring. The rabbits had mad amounts of bunny-sex, and eggs would begin to appear in nests throughout the woods. Eastre symbolized not only the coming of spring, but the light of morning. She symbolized, above all, new beginnings.

Beyond this, we know little of this goddess or the worship associated with her. We know chocolate was a late addition, as this is a gift of the New World. It was not available to Europe until long after Christianity had wiped away nearly all memory of Eastre.

I like to celebrate the holiday by considering how important it is to tolerate the ideas of others. We could have been left with a rich collection of Germanic mythology to compliment what we have now (largely Greek, Roman, and Semitic). Instead, the need to suppress that which is different has left us with a holiday whose name provides more questions than answers.

I wish I could be around in a few hundred years when little Scientologists ask, "What's Christmas named for?"

Open Letter to American Schools

Dear School Administrator,

I realize the debate between creationism/intelligent design and evolution has gotten a lot of press, but I would like to call attention to a matter of equal, or perhaps greater, importance.

You see, I am not a Christian, but I believe faith should be favored over science. Religion is the the glue of society: it holds us together and gets us high.

I myself worship the Norse Gods, including Odin and Thor. It has come to my attention that schools across the country are teaching something called "plate tectonic theory." It erroneously states that earthquakes are the result of "plates" in the Earth's crust shifting.

This is most certainly not the case. You see, the truth has been known by my religion for centuries. Loki, the trickster god of fire, is tied up with the intestines of his son under the ground. There is a snake over him dripping venom, and Loki's wife holds a cup over his head. When the cup fills and she goes to empty it, the venom hits Loki in the face and he writhes in pain, causing earthquakes.

I would be most appreciative if equal time might be provided for my culture's teachings to be presented in science classes. Plate tectonics is only a theory, after all. Because it is not proven fact, any competing idea I come up with is equally valid (as is my understanding of the American education system).

In case you do not believe my religion is important to Americans, ask yourself what day of the week it is. Every business day is named after a god in our pantheon:
- Monday: Mani, the moon
- Tuesday: Tyr, the one-armed god of duelling
- Wednesday: Odin, the All-Father
- Thursday: Thor, god of thunder
- Friday: Frey, god of good weather

Thank you for your time, and may valkyries carry you on winged steed to Valhalla upon your death in glorious battle.

- Weirdbeard

Liberals and Language

If you can't tell by my posts, I find language to be very interesting. I think it is important to carefully choose every word one uses. I also think understanding the origin of words can help shed light on how humanity thinks. While these actions can add new colors to the palette of language, some believe altering the way other people speak can change the way they think.

Conservatives do this effectively with euphemism. They aren’t “prisoners of war,” they’re “enemy combatants” (pesky Geneva Conventions). It’s not that consumer goods are less safe, there’s just “less government” thanks to “deregulation.” The private sector can treat you any way it wants, because only the government has to follow the constitution (and “big government” is scary to uneducated retards clutching guns in the night).

Liberals fail miserably at manipulating language. Many feel that if people would stop using offensive language, we'd all get along. Instead of controlling people’s minds, this forces people to use even more euphemistic language in order to communicate in a manner acceptable for liberals.

In short, liberal censorship (aka political correctness) has pushed conservative thought into the realm of the abstract. Meanwhile, liberals are stuck in the literal world fighting crusades against the use of masculine pronouns. Words like retard and fag are written about passionately as degrading our society.

This is all rubbish. The answer is not to censor, but to provide better alternatives. Rather than say a stupid film you just saw was retarded, say: “That movie was so christian.” Of course, most liberals are religious. So let’s try another one. If you see something really flamboyant (like a pink VW Beetle with a rainbow bumper sticker driven by a guy sporting a faux-hawk), remark how it’s conservative, or republican. Someone may point out these groups are against gays, but that shouldn’t stop you. Republicans have successfully convinced people that the word “elite” is a bad thing. Just trust me, you can get Americans to do anything if they see cool people do it first.

Of course, you could just use the neutral adjectives like “stupid” or “flamboyant.” However, if you do this, you won’t be adding anything to the language. Languages evolve over time, and if you do not help leave a mark on it, other people will. And no, asking the Pet Shop Boys to change their name is not helping. Damn liberals, their naïveté knows no bounds.

Happy Passover!

Let us all celebrate that God killed Egyptian children, and may His wrath be forever appeased by our continued practice of meaningless sacrifice and prejudice.

Virtues - Passion

The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Passion embodies a strange set of dualities: ecstasy and misery. Perhaps it is this fluctuation between joy and fury that makes it both popular and despised. There are innumerable objects of passion. Any person, place, thing, or idea can be venerated. The manner in which passion is expressed is even more diverse.

If this weren't confusing enough, the results of each passion and method of devotion can also vary, based on the person. Nothing definite can be said about whether passion has a positive or negative impact. Sometimes there is a positive impact for others and a negative impact for the individual. Many are the reverse, and provide comfort to the devotee at the expense of others. What's more, passion defies control, so perhaps understanding it can never help the passionate person.

The word passion derives from the Latin passio, meaning “suffering.” This in turn is a Latinization of the Greek word πάθος (pathos), which means “arousing sympathy, pity or compassion.” This derivation helps illustrate the Christian use of the word, which is applied to Jesus' crucifixion (and the crude obsession with the gory details leading up to it).

A common theme among most definitions is that passion compels. Passion bridges the gap between words and deeds. It is fervor, the urge to act. It provides the drive for nearly every change in human history. Passion is inspiring, if not inspiration itself. However, passion has a way of causing fixation, preventing one from seeing the big picture.

Passion has been described as both a virtue and a vice. In fact, the Stoics based their entire philosophy on removing passion from one's life in order to attain a feeling of apatheia. This is not the same as the modern term “apathy.” Instead, they sought total self-control, to the point of not even desiring to do wrong.

On the other hand, many religions are “enthusiastic.” Enthusiasm is an outburst of passion, sometimes abstract in nature, other times directed by ritual. This term also originates in ancient Greek: ἐνθουσιασμός (enthousiasmos): to be filled with, or possessed by, a god. This is done in various ways by many different groups, both ancient and modern. From the rituals of the bacchanal to Pentecostals speaking in tongues, it is a common component of religion to encourage a constructive outlet for the frantic emotions pent up in humanity.

Perhaps passion does more harm than good, but I certainly don’t see it that way. Passion can also be the need for human beings to connect to others, seek approval, and enjoy similar interests. It is our passions which bind us, just as strongly as they divide us. One person’s crazed fanatic is another person’s soul mate. What if the trick was not controlling our passions, but just giving each other enough space?