Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Atheology
If there’s one thing I really understand, it’s religion. And yet, like a biologist who is unable to truly define what “life” means, I am at a loss for formulating a perfect, succinct definition of religion. Like a biologist, I have to “know it when I see it,” and my view will not be the same as everyone else’s.
I find some people who reject the idea of gods to be religious, in some ways I might even include myself. As it turns out, gods are not a necessary component of religion. Religion doesn’t even need mythology.
We tend to think of religion in the modern sense, limited as we are by the handful of faiths we come in contact with (less than a dozen, really, of the thousands that have existed). We think of their shared characteristics as the foundations of faith, but the truth is that the idea of gods is no more common or required for a religion than dietary restrictions, ethical guidelines, or even genital mutilation.
Like most people who spend time studying religion from a secular perspective, I have settled on the conclusion that the only thing all religions have in common is ritual. Whether you believe there’s a daddy in heaven watching over us, or that scores of gods are enacting divine soap operas, or perhaps that everything has a spark of the divine, or even that Xenu left us here trillions of years ago… there are rituals you can perform that will “help.”
Religion is sort of like the history of human understanding. Religion is all about cause and effect. Before the monotheistic faiths took over, one of the primary religious ideas in the West was Cosmic Sympathy, the idea that all things are connected. It explained how people could tell the future by reading tea leaves or animal entrails or the flights of birds. It was the basis of astrology and all kinds of magic.
The lunacy! Chew on Willow bark and your headache goes away. Insane witch doctors!
As it turns out, lots of rituals “work” in one way or another. Sometimes we manage to figure out (through trial and error… lots of error) that certain natural substances have interesting effects on us. Sometimes the mechanism of action is nothing more than simple psychology, which today we would chalk up to the placebo effect.
Science is almost a religion. Science changes far too quickly to be recognizable as a religion. If religion were ice, science would be water. Some people treat aspects of science like religion, especially medicine. Plenty of people dutifully take their pills on a regular schedule with faith in the doctor and pharmacist. Some of them are taking placebos and don’t even know it… which is actually part of why it works.
There are also lots of different ways of classifying ritual. There is superstition, which I like to define as “rituals the observer finds ridiculous.” There are rites of passage, which are some of my least favorite rituals. I particularly hate the rituals of initiation or hazing, but I am also annoyed by transition ceremonies (particularly graduations and other self-congratulatory embellishment spectacles). Even brushing your teeth may be seen as a ritual of hygiene.
All rituals work. I may not successfully make someone experience pain with a voodoo doll, but the ritual itself provides the practitioner tangible utility in the form of emotional release. My prayer to cure someone’s disease may not elongate their life, but it will ease my own stress. I could choose to perform any ritual I wanted, and the more I believe in it, the more I gain. Ritual is the natural human anti-anxiety.
So what of atheists? What are our rituals? Well, for one, some of us feel compelled to comment on religious news of the day. Some throw rocks at churches. Some talk to friends and family about our lack of belief.
Sure, we probably don’t pray or look down on gay people, but most of us hope for the impossible and plenty look down on religious people. Atheism can easily be a religion, and it can even be a faith if one lets it.
If “I see no evidence for gods,” turns into “There is no God,” you have stepped into the circle with those making unverifiable claims. Who is worse, the Christian who looks down on atheists, or the atheist who looks down on Christians? To me, it is the atheist, because Christians are often told they are better by their books and preachers. What excuse does the atheist have?
The most common ritual in religion is one that many people have heard of, but rarely think about or understand. The Scapegoat ritual has deep origins and is present in every ideology that has ever been formulated by mankind.
Playing on the cause and effect nature of magic, a scapegoat is something that we are told must be destroyed. If it is destroyed, good things will happen. The rains will come, the sun will rise, all people will live together in peace and harmony forever and forever. This last one is actually a tenant of the religion of some Atheists.
“If only religion were gone,” we’re told, “the world would be [insert suspect claim of utopian society here].” Getting rid of religion won’t do a damn thing if Atheism acts precisely like a religion.
I find some people who reject the idea of gods to be religious, in some ways I might even include myself. As it turns out, gods are not a necessary component of religion. Religion doesn’t even need mythology.
We tend to think of religion in the modern sense, limited as we are by the handful of faiths we come in contact with (less than a dozen, really, of the thousands that have existed). We think of their shared characteristics as the foundations of faith, but the truth is that the idea of gods is no more common or required for a religion than dietary restrictions, ethical guidelines, or even genital mutilation.
Like most people who spend time studying religion from a secular perspective, I have settled on the conclusion that the only thing all religions have in common is ritual. Whether you believe there’s a daddy in heaven watching over us, or that scores of gods are enacting divine soap operas, or perhaps that everything has a spark of the divine, or even that Xenu left us here trillions of years ago… there are rituals you can perform that will “help.”
Religion is sort of like the history of human understanding. Religion is all about cause and effect. Before the monotheistic faiths took over, one of the primary religious ideas in the West was Cosmic Sympathy, the idea that all things are connected. It explained how people could tell the future by reading tea leaves or animal entrails or the flights of birds. It was the basis of astrology and all kinds of magic.
The lunacy! Chew on Willow bark and your headache goes away. Insane witch doctors!
As it turns out, lots of rituals “work” in one way or another. Sometimes we manage to figure out (through trial and error… lots of error) that certain natural substances have interesting effects on us. Sometimes the mechanism of action is nothing more than simple psychology, which today we would chalk up to the placebo effect.
Science is almost a religion. Science changes far too quickly to be recognizable as a religion. If religion were ice, science would be water. Some people treat aspects of science like religion, especially medicine. Plenty of people dutifully take their pills on a regular schedule with faith in the doctor and pharmacist. Some of them are taking placebos and don’t even know it… which is actually part of why it works.
There are also lots of different ways of classifying ritual. There is superstition, which I like to define as “rituals the observer finds ridiculous.” There are rites of passage, which are some of my least favorite rituals. I particularly hate the rituals of initiation or hazing, but I am also annoyed by transition ceremonies (particularly graduations and other self-congratulatory embellishment spectacles). Even brushing your teeth may be seen as a ritual of hygiene.
All rituals work. I may not successfully make someone experience pain with a voodoo doll, but the ritual itself provides the practitioner tangible utility in the form of emotional release. My prayer to cure someone’s disease may not elongate their life, but it will ease my own stress. I could choose to perform any ritual I wanted, and the more I believe in it, the more I gain. Ritual is the natural human anti-anxiety.
So what of atheists? What are our rituals? Well, for one, some of us feel compelled to comment on religious news of the day. Some throw rocks at churches. Some talk to friends and family about our lack of belief.
Sure, we probably don’t pray or look down on gay people, but most of us hope for the impossible and plenty look down on religious people. Atheism can easily be a religion, and it can even be a faith if one lets it.
If “I see no evidence for gods,” turns into “There is no God,” you have stepped into the circle with those making unverifiable claims. Who is worse, the Christian who looks down on atheists, or the atheist who looks down on Christians? To me, it is the atheist, because Christians are often told they are better by their books and preachers. What excuse does the atheist have?
The most common ritual in religion is one that many people have heard of, but rarely think about or understand. The Scapegoat ritual has deep origins and is present in every ideology that has ever been formulated by mankind.
Playing on the cause and effect nature of magic, a scapegoat is something that we are told must be destroyed. If it is destroyed, good things will happen. The rains will come, the sun will rise, all people will live together in peace and harmony forever and forever. This last one is actually a tenant of the religion of some Atheists.
“If only religion were gone,” we’re told, “the world would be [insert suspect claim of utopian society here].” Getting rid of religion won’t do a damn thing if Atheism acts precisely like a religion.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Nothing At All
I am not one of those kinds of atheists who believes. When theists claim atheism is a faith, I understand what they’re saying, because I have also witnessed religious non-believers.
I make a clear distinction between atheism and Atheism. Simple atheism is nothing: it is not a faith, it is not a religion, it is really not even a stance so much as a lack of one. As far as I know, everyone is born this way. So far, no one has popped out of the womb with their hands clasped, head bowed, muttering Hail Mary’s (maybe because no one has shoved a rosary up there since “The Exorcist” in 1973?).
While babies are born atheist, they are also igtheist: completely lacking any understanding of what gods are. Once the concept of gods is explained, one ceases to be an igtheist, but rejecting the idea as false is not what it takes to be an Atheist.
Atheism, also known as Atheism™ and Athei$m, is essentially a religion. There are books, t-shirts, mouse pads, coffee mugs, and inflatable Richard Dawkins sex dolls to purchase. There are weekly meetings one ought to attend in order to show support for those like you, and even special classes for your kids that will teach them how to be just like mommy and daddy.
However, atheists have no interest in that stuff. Personally, I was turned off by religions for doing those very same things. I can’t even say “there are no gods,” because I can’t prove that. I have simply never experienced anything divine, nor has anyone presented me convincing evidence that there are deities of any sort.
Like most atheists, I am as unimpressed by the idea of religion as I am by the idea of gods. I think religion is a fundamentally flawed system. I understand religions brought us this far, but there is no evidence it can take us much further. Religion was the cradle of philosophy, but we have long since out grown our crib.
I see no future in Atheism, only the forming of a new army to square off on the ideological battlefield. I prefer the idea of being a part of no group but the whole of humanity, the only group that really means anything. Sure, most of us are nuts and think we are talking to magical beings, but try getting dolphins to make you a sandwich or letting a dog proof-read your blog post.
Until my non-hominid society materializes, we must make due. And yes, I consider vegetarians to be traitors, and I feel I should legally be allowed to eat them because I am technically higher on the food chain.
I make a clear distinction between atheism and Atheism. Simple atheism is nothing: it is not a faith, it is not a religion, it is really not even a stance so much as a lack of one. As far as I know, everyone is born this way. So far, no one has popped out of the womb with their hands clasped, head bowed, muttering Hail Mary’s (maybe because no one has shoved a rosary up there since “The Exorcist” in 1973?).
While babies are born atheist, they are also igtheist: completely lacking any understanding of what gods are. Once the concept of gods is explained, one ceases to be an igtheist, but rejecting the idea as false is not what it takes to be an Atheist.
Atheism, also known as Atheism™ and Athei$m, is essentially a religion. There are books, t-shirts, mouse pads, coffee mugs, and inflatable Richard Dawkins sex dolls to purchase. There are weekly meetings one ought to attend in order to show support for those like you, and even special classes for your kids that will teach them how to be just like mommy and daddy.
However, atheists have no interest in that stuff. Personally, I was turned off by religions for doing those very same things. I can’t even say “there are no gods,” because I can’t prove that. I have simply never experienced anything divine, nor has anyone presented me convincing evidence that there are deities of any sort.
Like most atheists, I am as unimpressed by the idea of religion as I am by the idea of gods. I think religion is a fundamentally flawed system. I understand religions brought us this far, but there is no evidence it can take us much further. Religion was the cradle of philosophy, but we have long since out grown our crib.
I see no future in Atheism, only the forming of a new army to square off on the ideological battlefield. I prefer the idea of being a part of no group but the whole of humanity, the only group that really means anything. Sure, most of us are nuts and think we are talking to magical beings, but try getting dolphins to make you a sandwich or letting a dog proof-read your blog post.
Until my non-hominid society materializes, we must make due. And yes, I consider vegetarians to be traitors, and I feel I should legally be allowed to eat them because I am technically higher on the food chain.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Theogenesis
When discussing the creation of the universe, smart theists get really metaphorical. In famous debates over the big-bang, the most common question it all boils down to has been: what made the gas or singularity, or what caused the explosion or expansion?
Theists smile triumphantly upon saying it, and feel that because there is something unknown or poorly understood, they have found a wedge in which to insert God (always “the God,” never any of the thousands of other deities humans have come up with).
And yet, many an atheist has wondered: where does God come from? There is never an answer.
Since atheism is claimed by others to be a religion, I have long felt it useful to consider it as such… so long as it was convenient to me at that moment (why should Christians get all the fun?). Since religion is made up of abstract ideas, I shall create my own concept.
Suppose there is such a thing as the divine, and it created the universe. For simplicity, we’ll assume this is the fabled One God of the Abrahamic faiths. While one may choose to aspire to understand and worship this God, I choose instead to worship that which brought that God into existence.
I call this process: theogenesis.
I can’t explain to you precisely how it works. It’s very mysterious, you see, but I think a cow is involved somehow. This process demands no worship, either, it merely calls out to me to be acknowledged. I see you, theogenesis. I know people want to deny you occur, but I know you are there because something exist without being created.
Why worship God when you can worship that which created Him?
“But Ginx, before God there was nothing.”
Sounds good to me. I shall worship Nothing.
Theists smile triumphantly upon saying it, and feel that because there is something unknown or poorly understood, they have found a wedge in which to insert God (always “the God,” never any of the thousands of other deities humans have come up with).
And yet, many an atheist has wondered: where does God come from? There is never an answer.
Since atheism is claimed by others to be a religion, I have long felt it useful to consider it as such… so long as it was convenient to me at that moment (why should Christians get all the fun?). Since religion is made up of abstract ideas, I shall create my own concept.
Suppose there is such a thing as the divine, and it created the universe. For simplicity, we’ll assume this is the fabled One God of the Abrahamic faiths. While one may choose to aspire to understand and worship this God, I choose instead to worship that which brought that God into existence.
I call this process: theogenesis.
I can’t explain to you precisely how it works. It’s very mysterious, you see, but I think a cow is involved somehow. This process demands no worship, either, it merely calls out to me to be acknowledged. I see you, theogenesis. I know people want to deny you occur, but I know you are there because something exist without being created.
Why worship God when you can worship that which created Him?
“But Ginx, before God there was nothing.”
Sounds good to me. I shall worship Nothing.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
English: Learn to Speak It
Are we going to make language skills the standard of citizenship? Here’s what ordinary Americans have to say about it:
You know what gets my goose? Mexicans. I can’t reckon a single gosh dern word they’s sayin’. If yer comin to this here country, learn the language!
Yeah, cause like, I can’t stand, like, when you’re talking to, like, someone who doesn’t, like, speak English good, like, it’s all, like, so slow to, like, even say a single… what is that called… it’s like… oh right, sentence. What was I, like, saying again?
LOL rite, omg its tuff 2 spk /w teh mexis. Y cant evry1 jus use eng? WTF is /w “jears” instd of “years”? ROFL, laff at own jke.
Seriously, what the fuck? If you’re fucking going through the fucking effort of fucking coming to this fucking country, learn to fucking speak English mother fuckers!
I-i-i-it’s v-v-v-v-v-very diff-f-f-f-f-cul-l-l-lt f-f-f-f-f-for m-m-m-m-me t-t-t-t-to sum… sum… summon the p-p-p-p-p-p-patience t-t-t-t-to listen to p-p-p-p-people wh-h-h-h-ho d-d-d-d-d-don’t s-s-s-sp-sp-sp-speak English.
I have news for you: if they did a grammar and speech tests for voting, no Republican would ever win again.
You know what gets my goose? Mexicans. I can’t reckon a single gosh dern word they’s sayin’. If yer comin to this here country, learn the language!
Yeah, cause like, I can’t stand, like, when you’re talking to, like, someone who doesn’t, like, speak English good, like, it’s all, like, so slow to, like, even say a single… what is that called… it’s like… oh right, sentence. What was I, like, saying again?
LOL rite, omg its tuff 2 spk /w teh mexis. Y cant evry1 jus use eng? WTF is /w “jears” instd of “years”? ROFL, laff at own jke.
Seriously, what the fuck? If you’re fucking going through the fucking effort of fucking coming to this fucking country, learn to fucking speak English mother fuckers!
I-i-i-it’s v-v-v-v-v-very diff-f-f-f-f-cul-l-l-lt f-f-f-f-f-for m-m-m-m-me t-t-t-t-to sum… sum… summon the p-p-p-p-p-p-patience t-t-t-t-to listen to p-p-p-p-people wh-h-h-h-ho d-d-d-d-d-don’t s-s-s-sp-sp-sp-speak English.
Speak English - watch more funny videos
I have news for you: if they did a grammar and speech tests for voting, no Republican would ever win again.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Treaty of Tripoli
Pirates have not always been so romanticized as they are these days (though Somalia may have muddied those waters…). In the 18th century, when America was in its infancy, piracy was actually a major problem.
One of the primary pirate outposts was the North African port of Tripoli, in modern day Libya. Muslim pirates based in Tripoli would not only steal the ships and cargo of American and European ships, they would hold the passengers ransom and sell into slavery those without families to pay the exorbitant bounties for their release.
Needless to say, this made trade risky, unpleasant, and expensive. So what did America do? This was the 1700’s, so they didn’t roll in with their massive fleet and install a huge invading force. We had no desire for a military engagement, so we paid them off. The US paid money for safe passage of ships flying the US flag. (Americans thought of it as tolls, the Barbary coast pirates saw it as tribute).
But this isn’t a post about foreign policy. As stated earlier, the pirates were Muslims. They wanted nothing to do with making pacts with a Christian nation. Luckily, our forefathers wanted nothing to do with being a Christian nation, so they had no qualms with Article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli:
In other words: we understand you’re Muslim and you have problems with the Christian nations of Europe. We’re nothing like them, please work with us.
What I find most interesting is that the Treat of Tripoli had to be ratified by the House and Senate. Guess how many of the 339 Representatives and Senators in 1797 agreed to these terms?
Answer: all of them. It was the third unanimous vote in US history.
One of the primary pirate outposts was the North African port of Tripoli, in modern day Libya. Muslim pirates based in Tripoli would not only steal the ships and cargo of American and European ships, they would hold the passengers ransom and sell into slavery those without families to pay the exorbitant bounties for their release.
Needless to say, this made trade risky, unpleasant, and expensive. So what did America do? This was the 1700’s, so they didn’t roll in with their massive fleet and install a huge invading force. We had no desire for a military engagement, so we paid them off. The US paid money for safe passage of ships flying the US flag. (Americans thought of it as tolls, the Barbary coast pirates saw it as tribute).
But this isn’t a post about foreign policy. As stated earlier, the pirates were Muslims. They wanted nothing to do with making pacts with a Christian nation. Luckily, our forefathers wanted nothing to do with being a Christian nation, so they had no qualms with Article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli:
Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen [Muslims],—and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan [Muslim] nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.
In other words: we understand you’re Muslim and you have problems with the Christian nations of Europe. We’re nothing like them, please work with us.
What I find most interesting is that the Treat of Tripoli had to be ratified by the House and Senate. Guess how many of the 339 Representatives and Senators in 1797 agreed to these terms?
Answer: all of them. It was the third unanimous vote in US history.
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