Friday, March 13, 2009

Titles and Pleasantries

I give the world a fair amount of empathy. I never imply I am in a rush so that waiters, waitresses, store clerks, customer service reps, or tellers feel pressured. If I haven’t passed by anyone in a while, I smile to the next person or group of people I see, regardless of who they are (though I don’t walk around beaming in the middle of crowds of people).

However, I always look down upon those who demand respect or are trying to suck up to me. I like people who I can talk to casually, as if we were familiar with each other. People who demand superficial rituals to be performed in their honor disgust me and ignite my rage against their self deification. Having to address people with a title or anything other than simply their name is a gross perversion of the equality shared between all people.

I also hate to be on the receiving end of this malicious attack on basic humanism. I find petty pleasantries to be insulting to my intellect. “Sir” and “Ma’am” smack of mock flattery. They’re the 3-4 letter equivalent to saying “Hello sir, have you lost weight? Let me loosen your belt so we can slip those pants off. Then I can stick my nose directly up your ass. Oh yes sir, smells like flowers, sir. Now about that tip…”

My only regret in not furthering my education has to be that I could have earned the title "Doctor," but asked people to just call me by my first name.

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