Sunday, March 29, 2009

What'd Jew Do This Weekend?

My fiancé and I have had nothing but awkward resistance from her family regarding the wedding. The older of her two younger brothers is coming, but her younger brother and parents are being sent an invitation anyway. Maybe she sees it as passive-aggressive; I think it’s a waste of a stamp. As with all disagreements, we did what she wanted.

Whether it was a nice gesture or a back-handed swipe, she seems to be trying to stay on their good side. One of her cousins is getting married today, and she was invited. I was not. She thought I would be insulted. I’m just glad I don’t have to go and wear a kippah.

That whole thing is a major sore spot with me. I don’t like impositions. I hate uniforms and dress codes. I believe people should be allowed to pre-judge you based on what you wear, but people should think before assuming the appearance of something implies the it is a reality. Remember, all the guys who ran this country into the ground over the last eight years wore suits.

So what’s the deal with making me wear a Jew-niform just to sit through a boring spiel? I’m already sitting through a ceremony that’s in a foreign language I don’t understand, how uncomfortable are you trying to make me feel?

I once went to some sort of dinner that was days after the wedding of one of my fiancé’s friend. It has some Hebrew name, and she’s not here to tell me what it is. So besides feeling completely uncomfortable, the food was unpalatable. I had some salad and bites of everything else. Then we had bread made from blond children (or so I hear).

Afterwards, she pointed out I was the only one without a kippah (that’s a yarmulke to most Gentiles). I hadn’t noticed, but apparently those who know to look probably did. It’s a very strange exclusionary practice. I for one have a full head of hair (perhaps my one good physical feature). I certainly don’t need a bald-spot cover.

So she’s gone to the “lion’s den,” although I’m only worried about her drive to Brooklyn… and being the only one to walk the dog tonight.


  1. I enjoy your clever writing style.

    Jew-niform. Funny.

    Shalom, Tandi

  2. I don't think you would have had to wear a kippa- there were plenty of guys there without one.

    Oh and you are thinking of "Sheva brachot" which means "7 blessings"- jews say 7 blessings each night for 7 nights after the wedding cuase 7 is some mystical number, and also you are arn't allowed to haev sex for 7 days after losing your virginity because the woman bleeds and is therefore impure- so it's to distract them when they can't have sex the first 7 nights of their marriage. Arn't you glad we arn't doing that? :)


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