Godwin’s Law, Pope Loses Debate

As a former Catholic, I can tell you this: no Catholic listens to everything the Pope says like a non-Catholic. Maybe it’s different in poor countries, but affluent Catholics pay about as much attention to the Pope as they do a spot on the wall behind their TV.

So imagine my shock when Catholics weren’t up in arms about the piping hot batch of Poperrific insanery cooked up in England this week. I’m sure the first time most of them hear about it is when a non-Catholic asks them what they think about it, to which most will say, “About that business we should be doing…”

So Benedict (who’s been a dick for a while now) compared secularism and atheism with Nazism. Maybe my time on the internet has jaded me and I just don’t even flinch at such a gross misrepresentation of Nazism. Those brave Aryans believed in God, “Gott Mit Uns,” “God is With Us.” It would be insulting to claim they were atheists, after all the devotion they displayed in glorious combat under the Iron Cross!

Then again, Benedict was in the Hitler Youth, so he might be privy to something we aren’t. Maybe the Pope saw Nazis as secret atheists who used religion to lure the naïve faithful into a veiled war on religion itself. And maybe 9/11 was done by Nazis inside the US who own the oil companies.

What would make the Pope want to say something outrageous? Perhaps he’s trying to distract people from what’s really dogging him, and make the debate about some other group that isn’t the Catholic Church? But what could be so horrible… oh right, the child sodomy.