10. Help others by pointing out their flaws.
9. Stop calling people names, unless they’re being really retarded.
8. Spend more time talking with friends and family in a condescending tone.
7. Get out of debt by killing whoever this “Sallie Mae” person is.
6. Learn something new every week, even though I know everything.
5. Stop huffing paint, for real this time.
4. Volunteer at the local SPCA as a euthanizer.
3. Stop using words like “nigger” and “faggot” to shock people, only to make a point.
2. Travel less.
1. Go to the gym and criticize people there for being vain.
one of your resolutions should be: "I am going to shut my mouth about God...."
ReplyDeleteI like these. It's like you're saying I'm not gonna be an asshole this year, but then I'll sort of do it anyway.
ReplyDelete