White and Black, But Never Green: The Flavors of the Tea Party

There are liberals lined up for miles ready to criticize the Tea Party. As liberals are wont to do, they have decided to appeal to emotions rather than conduct a cerebral assault on the what is easily the most intellectually devoid political movement in history.

Pop quiz: In 2009, the marginal Federal tax rate for those making over $150,000 a year has:
a. gone up
b. stayed the same
c. gone down

If you asked a Tea Partier, they’d probably answer A. The truth is that tax rates have not gone up, while the tax brackets have adjusted for inflation. One might be able to argue B is correct, as it is possible that once all deductions, credits, etc. have been made, most families will pay similar or comparable taxes, especially if adjusted for inflation. Liberals might rush to say it has gone down, but again… inflation.

Obama is claiming “95% of working households” will benefit from “tax cuts,” but this is misleading and inaccurate. Retirees, the unemployed, the disabled, and other non-working households will not benefit from Obama’s work-incentive tax credits (not cuts), and one source estimates this to be closer to 75% of total households (as opposed to “working households” at a time when unemployment is rampant).

You won’t get any of this information from a Tea Partier, which is odd. This group constantly talks about taxes, and they even named themselves after a Colonial taxation protest. Yet somehow… they don’t know a damn thing about taxes. That’s odd, huh? Not when you consider the fact that Americans were taxed less than citizens living in England, yet we threw a hissy fit after we lost our free ride. I suspect we have always been this stupid.

Taxes aren’t the only thing you’ll hear talked (or shouted) about at Tea Party rally. You won’t go far before you see someone holding up a sign emblazoned with a swastika, or Obama sporting a Hitler-stache, or someone calling Obama a Nazi (but some would rather use another “n” word). Yes, there are racists at this rally who hate Obama mostly because of his race. Conservatives need to get over this fact.

Liberals jump at the opportunity to define the Tea Party by this segment, deeming the whole movement purely racist. This is odd, considering there are black people at the rallies. Tea Partiers rush to disavow the “small” coterie of extremists of every stripe, from racist to anarchist… who remain and add an eerily welcome militancy to the group as a whole.

I don’t think every person who self-affiliates as a Tea Partier is racist. Some are just plain stupid. It’s not that disagreeing with Obama makes you racist or stupid… it’s listening to Sarah Palin and finding her inspirational that does it.

While you won’t see many signs or hear people shouting about it, the environment is an important issue for most Tea Partiers. For some reason, it’s very important to them that we trash the Earth. Most of them are retired old fossils with the money and time to go to stupid events to hear Alaskan beauty pageant failures wax philosophy. Why would they care what happens to the planet in fifty years when they’re going to keel over with clogged arteries in ten? Besides, none of that is going to matter when Jesus comes down from the clouds…

All in all, the Tea Party leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I look forward to them running candidates who will leech votes away from Republicans. Now, if only Democrats would get a pair of neuticles…