Monday, April 26, 2010

Decyphering Conservative

Tea Partiers, Republicans, and conservatives of every stripe throw a few terms around that go flying over the heads of most liberals. As a service, I have written this aid to help translate rhetoric from Conservatese to plain American English:

Entitlement = Charity that can be acquired without having to sit through a sermon.

Socialism = (see: entitlement)

Word Counts on Legislation = Conservatives hate reading.

We Want Our Country Back! = … from the Black, Muslim, Kenyan, Socialist, Nazi foreigner who is after our guns and white women!

Regime = Scary word they heard liberals using during the Bush years.

Liberal Bias = Anything not originating from Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, Lew Rockwell…

Police State = Remember the Wild West? I do, from all those movies I saw growing up… I want to live there.

Career politician = Too much experience is bad. [Conservatives are retarded, and they want their leaders to be represent them.]

Revolution = Maybe the threat of violence will keep the Commies in line…

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