Friday, January 21, 2011

Advice For Idiots #1

Out of mouthwash? Try bleach. It kills germs and keeps your teeth sparkling white.

Just moved to a new area and don’t know where to buy drugs? Ask a cop, they know where the dealers hang out.

Has your wife stopped having sex with you? Call up her sister, it’s close enough.

Using your fireplace to stay warm in the winter? Remember to shut the flume, to keep the warm air inside.

See a hot girl on the street? Ask if she swallows.

2 comments:

  1. What, already you've received a "foul" vote on your brand new series?

    Worried about making a decent living? Turn to the state for help.

    Having a problem with your rebellious teenager? Call the cops.

    Concerned about terrorism? Rely on the TSA to protect you.

    Hey, this is fun!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I never know what foul means... sometimes I think it's just someone who laughed at something they know should be offensive, other times I think it means I was so close, just lacking in quality. Either way, I already have like 13 more written, so it's not going anywhere for now.

    I don't think your's are funny... The first one is just sad, the second one actually happens, and the third one scares me.

    ReplyDelete

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