Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Spanksgiving

So, I drove for 11 hours with my wife and two dogs to Indiana yesterday, and I wanted desperately to do a Wednesday Word, but I was thoroughly uninspired and drained. The only thing I could come up with was "Bastard-eyes: an illegitimate stare." I was unimpressed with what I came up with (and I mean, more so than usual), so I just turned in early and called it a night.

But my wife came up with a strange pun, "Spanksgiving." I think she meant it in the sexual connotation, but Thanksgiving is notoriously the least sexy holiday. I mean, you stuff yourself with food while watching giant balloons being paraded through New York and, later in the day, sweaty guys tackling each other. Plus, the bed is covered in a pile of coats. Not a very erotic holiday.

But when I heard "Spanksgiving," I thought she meant the day after Thanksgiving, when you have to wear a girdle just to fit into your clothes again and go out shopping on Black Friday. Then I thought maybe those Pilgrims with buckles on their hats would take the belts off and beat their kids with them if they were misbehaving.

At any rate, I hope everyone in America has a nice Thanksgiving, and to all non-Americans... have a good Thursday.


  1. And a Happy Spanksgiving to you from Skeptical Eye (an independent country where statist "holidays" are not celebrated).

  2. So... you have to work on Thanksgiving in Skeptical Eye?

  3. This is Nikk Jakson reporting from downtown SE City. Sir, would you mind answering a few questions? Okay, good!

    Are you working today? Yes, but only 4 hours. Is that your regular shift? It is? And you say you get the same as if you were working slave hours of 8 hours a day in a capitalist state-run system?

    But, sir, what about holidays like "Thanksgiving" from the USA? Don't you miss them? No? You'd rather have real worker's rights and a 4 day work week, every week, than a phony government granted holiday that you might have to work anyway if your boss tells you to.

    Well, there you have it from the streets of Skeptical Eye.

    Back to you, Bret.


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