So, I drove for 11 hours with my wife and two dogs to Indiana yesterday, and I wanted desperately to do a Wednesday Word, but I was thoroughly uninspired and drained. The only thing I could come up with was "Bastard-eyes: an illegitimate stare." I was unimpressed with what I came up with (and I mean, more so than usual), so I just turned in early and called it a night.
But my wife came up with a strange pun, "Spanksgiving." I think she meant it in the sexual connotation, but Thanksgiving is notoriously the least sexy holiday. I mean, you stuff yourself with food while watching giant balloons being paraded through New York and, later in the day, sweaty guys tackling each other. Plus, the bed is covered in a pile of coats. Not a very erotic holiday.
But when I heard "Spanksgiving," I thought she meant the day after Thanksgiving, when you have to wear a girdle just to fit into your clothes again and go out shopping on Black Friday. Then I thought maybe those Pilgrims with buckles on their hats would take the belts off and beat their kids with them if they were misbehaving.
At any rate, I hope everyone in America has a nice Thanksgiving, and to all non-Americans... have a good Thursday.