Sunday, September 27, 2009

Smells Like Teen Smoking

I am what is called a “political smoker.” I don’t buy cigarettes, and I sometimes actively try to move away from people who smoke. However, I do not infringe on anyone’s right to smoke, nor would I ask someone who smokes to move away from me. I tolerate smoking.

Intolerant, douchebag Democrats can’t pass a healthcare bill, they can’t provide rights for gay people, and don’t even get me fucking starting on the wars in the Middle East… but they can slyly pass a ban on all flavored cigarettes? What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Well, it took effect on September 22nd. What’s hilarious to me is that the only people I know of who were affected were hippies – who probably voted Democrat. Just as trailer-park dwelling whites who vote Republican are not acting in their own economic interest, smokers who vote Democrat are just oppressing themselves. My clove-smoking hippie brethren were probably smoking too much of another herb to realize they voted into power a bunch of smoke haters.

Since I am an asthmatic non-smoker, I remain largely unaware of new cigarette legislation. However, I vaguely remember something about a ban on flavored cigarettes months ago. Something about how they appeal to children. This is a shame, because I think they should ban non-flavored cigarettes. As a non-smoker, I’d much rather smell cherries, vanilla, cloves, mint, or whatever.

This is really indicative of how Democrats operate. The first rule of Democratic policy is to never mess with anything people are talking about. Go for the forgotten issues people are comfortable with, something everyone thinks is settled, then stir the pot. But most importantly, don’t just outright ban something; instead, take awkwardly-worded legislative baby steps.

The ban affects flavored cigarettes – excluding menthol (I guess so Obama can keep smoking Kools). It also does not cover cigars. Look for mini, flavored cigars to be hitting shelves in the coming weeks.


  1. the people want drugs and we do not care for nor will we obey any legislation of prohibition. People will not be denied. Every prohibitive law that is passed put's another Item on the black market shopping list. Criminals (poor people) will be more than happy to smuggle in and sell us our favorite drug of choice. It's a waste of time and too costly to enforce. No I think there are other reasons for the law and I don't see it as a move toward banning tobacco products. They would have to give up all the tax money from the sales. This entire thing is just the US tobacco companies flexing their political power (buying off the government)to eliminate what they see as a threat; imported clove cigarettes! Clove cigarettes smoked in the US are mostly if not all imported. go figure.

  2. I think the reason companies like Altria back the measure are the for the reason you stated.

    However, I think Democrats are ultimately going for prohibition because if they will be paying for healthcare, they want to delay the largest medical expense for any patient: end of life. Longer living Americans mean more years as contributors, dilating the time as an earner versus time as an expense.

    And we both know they would find something else to tax.

    I agree that prohibition in any form will do more harm than good and will ultimately fail, but I'm not a Democrat.

  3. I think the DEMS understand that, if you cut an already agitated populous off cold turkey, there could be rioting in the streets. Maybe they are Democrats but they still may be smart enough to not to put 3/4 of a million tobacco workers on the welfare lines! You don't just shut down a 16 billion dollar industry! Can't happen won't happen. The feds are already getting sued buy the importers of clove cigarettes for this stupid move.Could you imagine the back lash if they made tobacco illegal?


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