Monday, March 29, 2010

Yuppie Welfare

My wife did our taxes this weekend (I highly recommend marrying a Jew). I imagine most of you who are American and read my blog have already filed or are planning to do so soon. As you do, think about what that money is going towards.

A large chunk is going to the great “Wars of Terrorist Recruitment” in Iraq, Afghanistan, and ever-so-quietly Pakistan. Afghanistan is quickly becoming Obama’s Vietnam, and Pakistan is his Cambodia. I have a theory that he’s trying to catch Bin Laden, as nabbing him before his first term is up would cement his re-election. In my estimation, dozens of kids die so that a politician can appear tough on terror. Some yuppie is sending the people from my generation off to murder and die for the paranoia of the yuppie and baby boomer population of America.

Then there’s social security, or as I think of it: Yuppie Welfare. You see, social security was a great idea planned by responsible people from a complete different generation. They were the Builders, the pre-WWII, Depression Era Americans who had to work twice as hard for half as much. They were fundamentally different from the Baby Boomers and Yuppies that followed.

The Baby Boomers grew up in an era of plenty. They never knew want, they were the first generation raised on the TV, and their coming of age was during the 60’s. Most weren’t hippies, though this is the generation that spawned that subculture. Instead, most were fed a steady diet of anti-Russian, anti-Communist rhetoric from the scary Conservatives known as Kennedy and Johnson. Their failure to suppress media coverage of setbacks during the Vietnam War was an error seldom repeated since.

The Yuppies came to power around the time children became the most powerful force in the nation. This was the 80’s, the era of “Think of the children!” legislation censoring everything: magazines, radio, art, music, comedians, etc.

Yuppies grow up largely to become ignorant fools with little guidance. They fall for Reagan’s bullshit during the 80’s. They gamble their future away on the trust of bankers, deregulating left and right. Before you know it, social security (remember that?) is mismanaged beyond repair.

Now we have my generation, Generation Too Busy To Have a Name. Generation X just squeaked in and got some of the fat of the land, but the bones were picked dry by the time we showed up. We often hold 2-3 jobs without benefits. We work harder for less gain. Our safety net is gone, as we cannot count on Social Security to provide anything but a pittance (that’s assuming we don’t die from something as simple as the flu, since we can’t go to the doctor without risking a $2k medical bill to get antibiotics).

And to top it all off… these yuppies, these irresponsible goons who put us in the dog house… they have the unprecedented audacity to shout for fiscal responsibility any time my generation might stand to gain. It is not the old farts on Medicare who have to worry about medical bills. These socialist yuppies take from the government freely but shout bloody-Commie-murder if it might mean anyone else getting hand-outs.

For once, I’m glad the life expectancy of Americans has been on the decline. We are going to enjoy sending you to horribly maintained old-folks homes where you can meet some people who make minimum wage as they unskillfully apply your catheter.

8 comments:

  1. we do have a name- the millennials (since we came of age around the turn of the millennium). We were previously called "generation y" but that name sucked (but still dominates on wikipedia apparently: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation_Y)

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  2. How about generation lame asses? The generation that never left it's bedroom. But why should you? Your T.V., computer, video games and IPOD were all up there. No one thought you'd ever need health-care. If you did go outside to play you were elbow pads and helmets just to cross the street. You've never drank water from from a faucet and everything you ate had a label on it to tell you of it's dietary value. And most of you think your entitled to the same type of house your mom and dad have the day you turned 18. So when that didn't happen you made it happen by living in their basement. And if your news source wasn't mtv then you didn't watch the news. You blame everyone else for inflation but think that 200 dollars a week for weed is a good enough deal that you just can't live with out it. And maybe your generation thinks it's more important to get tattoos and piercings than to get a job. And you guys think everyone hates you because your all liberals not because of your green mo-hawks and snotty attitudes.

    But thank God for you Geenks, because you can squash these petty stereo types from us old, fat, white geezers. Long live America and long live Geenks.

    P.S. Reagan kicked ass!

    Late, feeno

    ReplyDelete
  3. - never owned an ipod
    - never wore a helmet, except playing football
    - never bought bottled water
    - rented for past 7 years
    - never lived in my parents' house after high school
    - like everyone my age, stopped watching MTV around 13
    - 200 dollars a week? Seriously, I can hook you up WAY better than that...
    - no tattoos
    - no piercings
    - always had boring hair

    That said... you're blaming inflation on people who literally just showed up in the voting world and who are largely underpaid, indeed living in their parents' basement. You're literally picking on the down trodden, a class of people who spend their free time mutilating their bodies and laughing at virtual gore. I'm at a curious loss as to why you would seek tp provoke a decidedly Charles Mansonesque generation.

    The only ass Reagan kicked was poor people's to the curb. Reagan may not have invented American homelessness, but he did make it an industry.

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  4. Geenks,

    I'm impressed, you played football. You seem more like the guy in school who tormented the "elite". Kinda like the janitor in "Goodwill Hunting"?

    Anyways not only am I not blaming generation lame ass for the economy, I like you guys. If anyone is to blame it should be the parents who raised that generation. You screw up and get sent to a corner? You play a whole game of soccer and nobody kept score? No wonder you guys are so soft.

    Btw, Charles Manson was born about 15 minutes from where I live. I know Charles Manson, Charles Manson was a friend of mine, you sir are no Charles Manson.

    I can be friends with atheists, agnostics, heretics and apostates, but I may have to draw the line at Reagan bashers?

    Geenks, I hope you enjoy the Bible belt, the good weather and I will be praying for you to find a great job down there.

    Shalom, feeno

    ReplyDelete
  5. The football thing was surprising to me too when I first heard it, but Ginx was definitely one of those high school jocks I always used to hate back in high school...football team, basketball team, maybe a few other teams, but he would know better than me. :) And yes, they were real teams and they really did keep score and everything. :)

    Now I use his old football gloves when I take the dog out in cold weather, they have a great grip so I can handle the plastic bags without taking my gloves off :)

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  6. You said very sweet and Good for Geenks to get such a catch.

    Shalom, feeno

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  7. "Now we have my generation, Generation Too Busy To Have a Name. Generation X just squeaked in and got some of the fat of the land, but the bones were picked dry by the time we showed up. We often hold 2-3 jobs without benefits. We work harder for less gain. Our safety net is gone, as we cannot count on Social Security to provide anything but a pittance (that’s assuming we don’t die from something as simple as the flu, since we can’t go to the doctor without risking a $2k medical bill to get antibiotics)."

    It's amazing how once you let special interests dominate a Republic - it begins to destroy itself from the inside out and turn into a plutocracy. Once I graduate I really need to take some time to brush up on Greek and Roman history.

    Perhaps the Ginx could do a blog since we have so much in common with Rome.

    I just hope we don't end up in the Dark Ages round 2.... the only thing good about the Dark ages is when Galileo and Descartes brought us out of it.

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  8. The US is less like Rome than most Americans would like to believe. About the only thing we have in common is a fall.

    ReplyDelete

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