Yuppie Welfare

My wife did our taxes this weekend (I highly recommend marrying a Jew). I imagine most of you who are American and read my blog have already filed or are planning to do so soon. As you do, think about what that money is going towards.

A large chunk is going to the great “Wars of Terrorist Recruitment” in Iraq, Afghanistan, and ever-so-quietly Pakistan. Afghanistan is quickly becoming Obama’s Vietnam, and Pakistan is his Cambodia. I have a theory that he’s trying to catch Bin Laden, as nabbing him before his first term is up would cement his re-election. In my estimation, dozens of kids die so that a politician can appear tough on terror. Some yuppie is sending the people from my generation off to murder and die for the paranoia of the yuppie and baby boomer population of America.

Then there’s social security, or as I think of it: Yuppie Welfare. You see, social security was a great idea planned by responsible people from a complete different generation. They were the Builders, the pre-WWII, Depression Era Americans who had to work twice as hard for half as much. They were fundamentally different from the Baby Boomers and Yuppies that followed.

The Baby Boomers grew up in an era of plenty. They never knew want, they were the first generation raised on the TV, and their coming of age was during the 60’s. Most weren’t hippies, though this is the generation that spawned that subculture. Instead, most were fed a steady diet of anti-Russian, anti-Communist rhetoric from the scary Conservatives known as Kennedy and Johnson. Their failure to suppress media coverage of setbacks during the Vietnam War was an error seldom repeated since.

The Yuppies came to power around the time children became the most powerful force in the nation. This was the 80’s, the era of “Think of the children!” legislation censoring everything: magazines, radio, art, music, comedians, etc.

Yuppies grow up largely to become ignorant fools with little guidance. They fall for Reagan’s bullshit during the 80’s. They gamble their future away on the trust of bankers, deregulating left and right. Before you know it, social security (remember that?) is mismanaged beyond repair.

Now we have my generation, Generation Too Busy To Have a Name. Generation X just squeaked in and got some of the fat of the land, but the bones were picked dry by the time we showed up. We often hold 2-3 jobs without benefits. We work harder for less gain. Our safety net is gone, as we cannot count on Social Security to provide anything but a pittance (that’s assuming we don’t die from something as simple as the flu, since we can’t go to the doctor without risking a $2k medical bill to get antibiotics).

And to top it all off… these yuppies, these irresponsible goons who put us in the dog house… they have the unprecedented audacity to shout for fiscal responsibility any time my generation might stand to gain. It is not the old farts on Medicare who have to worry about medical bills. These socialist yuppies take from the government freely but shout bloody-Commie-murder if it might mean anyone else getting hand-outs.

For once, I’m glad the life expectancy of Americans has been on the decline. We are going to enjoy sending you to horribly maintained old-folks homes where you can meet some people who make minimum wage as they unskillfully apply your catheter.