Saturday, December 10, 2011

Island Situation

You have shipwrecked on a large island. You see a vast forest which meets the white, sandy beach you currently stand on. There is a large mountain in the middle of the island, on which you can clearly see a waterfall (so, there is fresh water). There is no human life on the island, but there are insects, birds, lizards, a bunch of wild pigs, and typical sea-life, not to mention lush vegetation. The weather is mild tropical, and every year there is a 3 month monsoon season (which just ended before you arrived).

You will be trapped here for 10 years, and you know this. You have 12 points to spend in the following 5 categories. You must choose one (and only one) option from categories 1-3, and you may choose one option each (but not more than one each) from categories 4-5.

Category 1: The Company You Keep (Mandatory)

A (1 point): Think of the Children

You may choose to bring your own kids (any age or number, and adopted children obviously count), or just 1-3 real or hypothetical children (age 0-12, you pick age and gender, but all hypothetical children must be at least 1 year apart in age). They will be a drain on your resources at first, and will probably annoy the hell out of you, but hopefully they start to chip in before the 10 years are up.

B (2 points): Solo

You are alone on the island. You only have to provide for yourself, but you also have no help and no companionship. You may start to go mad and begin speaking to inanimate objects.

C (3 points): Survivalist

You are trapped on the island with a stranger whose hobbies include gun collecting, bow hunting, fishing, and camping. This person is a volunteer firefighter and works as an EMT. They have lost their dominate arm at the shoulder just now during a shark attack. With their help, you apply a tourniquet and save their life. They are of a gender and age which you find least sexually attractive, and their political views are the opposite of your own. However, they are polite, a patient teacher, and they are still able to walk and use their other arm.

D (4 points): Ooo-la-la

You may choose anyone you know personally to be stranded with you. They cannot be famous, even if you know a famous person, though the person you select doesn’t have to know you exist or even like you. Being trapped on the island doesn’t necessarily mean they will start to like you, nor will they blame you for selecting them. You don’t need to be sexually attracted to them, and it can be your best platonic friend, but… ten years is a long time…

E (5 points): Island Party

You can choose any combination of A, C and D,


You can choose any 4 people on the planet to be trapped with you on the island. You may also choose anonymous strangers with specific qualities (e.g. “a world-class chef,” or “an Olympic javelin thrower”).

Category 2: Armed and Dangerous (Mandatory)

A (1 point): Eight-inch Bowie Knife

It’s big, it’s sharp, and it’s better than nothing. I’m sure you can sharpen it on rocks you find, so don’t worry about it going dull.

B (2 points): 9mm Revolver

The gun holds 5 shots. It comes with a full cleaning kit (with instructions) and 500 rounds (10 years = roughly 3652 days; so, 500 rounds is a little less than one shot per week).

C (3 points): AK-47

This assault rifle is notoriously inaccurate, but it comes with a full cleaning kit, spare parts, and 5000 rounds. It also comes with a handy six-inch bayonet which can be detached and used as a knife.

D (4 points): Medieval Armory

A giant crate containing a vast collection of restored, fully functional antique weapons, including a suit of armor that is a little too small for you (most parts can be worn, but they are uncomfortable… for now), ten spears over six feet long, ten swords with 3 foot blades, twenty daggers of various styles, five large metal shields, ten all-metal axes, ten all-metal maces, and one crossbow with extra strings and ten solid metal bolts (ammunition) which can always be reused, if you track them down after shooting them.

E (5 points): Outdoorsman Pack

You get the Bowie knife from option A, a compound bow with 1000 arrows (which can generally be reused several times, if you retrieve them), two felling axes with three-foot carbon handles (and four replacement handles), five utility tomahawks, a pair of binoculars, 5000 strike-anywhere matches in a waterproof container, a fishing pole with thousands of feet of line, 1000 hooks, and a small hibachi grill with metal tongs, two-pronged fork, and spatula.

Category 3: Tools (Mandatory)

A (1 point): First Homeowner’s Toolkit

You get a small plastic container that opens like a suitcase. It has a slotted (flathead) screwdriver, a Philips-head (cross) screwdriver, a hammer, a pair of pliers, a pair of needle-nosed pliers, a pair of wire-cutters, 5 different sized wrenches (one is a large monkey wrench), a tape measure, 30 penny nails, 20 one-inch screws, and 20 little metal hooks with screws on the end.

B (2 points): Sun God

You get a solar panel with a generator. On an average sunny day, the panel generates enough electricity to run electronic equipment for 8 hours. The power can be stored to be used at night, or used during the day. The maximum charge the generator’s battery can hold is 48 hours of power. The only piece of electronic equipment it comes with is a radio which faintly picks up a few Indonesian stations at night (but not during the day). They sometimes play old music you recognize. However, unless you (or someone else on the island) speaks Malay, you can’t understand nearly any news being broadcast. You can plug in two things at a time, but they will use up twice as much power.

C (3 points): First-Aid Kit

Inside a waterproof container is a well-stocked first aid kit. It contains hundreds of feet of cloth bandages which can be reused if washed and sundried, 500 sterile pads, two bottles of hydrogen peroxide, a box of 500 cue tips, a bag of 500 cotton balls, two rolls of medical tape, ten tubes of Neosporin, ten tubes of hydrocortisone (anti-itch) cream, 5000 alcohol wipes, a pair of scissors, one scalpel with four extra replacement blades, a pair of tweezers, an alcohol thermometer, 10 safety pins, a bottle of 200 ibuprofen, a blanket, a first-aid booklet, and one roll of toilet paper. There also appears to be a box full of thousands of condoms next to the first-aid kit… I guess they come with it.

D (4 points): Garden of Eden Set

Two spades, two shovels, two hoes, two watering pails, two pairs of leather work gloves, two pairs of knee pads, two pairs of pruning shears, twenty large terracotta planting pots, one wheelbarrow, one encyclopedia of gardening, 1000 seed packets (each) of five kinds of vegetables (you pick any five, but they must be vegetables; the weather and conditions on the island are ideal for any type of growing). Figs also naturally grow on the island now.

E (5 points): Man’s Best Tools

Five crosscut two-man saws, five crosscut hand saws, five rip saws, five hacksaws, five hammers, ten thousand 4-inch flathead nails, 1000 feet of nylon rope that can support twice the body weight of the heaviest person on the island, one solar powered watch (with month and day), ten rolls of duct tape, one Swiss Army Knife (pliers, scissors, 1.5 inch blade, 3 inch blade, corkscrew, tweezers, toothpick, flathead and Phillips-head screw drivers, can opener, 5x magnifying lens, and small LED light), a flash light with a battery that is recharged by winding it up, a Zippo lighter with a large container of fluid and extra flints, one plastic poncho, a typical backpack, and… a dog. Not just any dog, but a sixty pound, 1-year-old mutt that “sits” when told, and enjoys eating crabs and birds he catches himself. The dog’s life expectancy is about 12 to 15 years, and he is quite friendly and calm.

Category 4: Luxuries (Optional)

A (1 point): A What-Man?

You get headphones and a Walkman with a mix tape of your favorite songs (each side has 45 minutes of recording time). It comes with enough batteries to run for about 1000 hours total, but if you have the solar generator, you can plug into that when you have run out of batteries (though you cannot recharge the batteries, so you only have 1000 hours of travel use with the Walkman). You also get any 3 books of your choice, and one ballpoint pen.

B (2 points): Addict

You get an unlimited supply of any three consumables of your choosing. They can be prepared in any way you wish, but you are still on an island (there is no refrigeration, and things can spoil). For example, you can have unlimited coffee, but you still need to boil the water and steep the beans, and if you want iced coffee, you need to climb the mountain to get snow or ice. It’s also acceptable to choose something which can be grown or which breeds (introducing foreign species is fine; assume they will flourish in the new environment).

C (3 points): iBored

You get an iPad. It has a calendar feature, 5 games of your choosing, 20 movies of your choosing (or you can substitute 1 book for 2 movies), and 500 songs of your choosing, but no internet. You can also use it to write down notes or make use of any other typical iPad feature that would normally be on an iPad, but the GPS feature is broken and no apps for surviving on an island (though you can have a book on survival in your virtual book collection). The iPad comes fully charged with 6 hours of battery life before it dies, but 3 hours of charging on the solar generator will yield another 6 hours of battery life.

D (4 points): Let’s Be Civil

You and everyone else on the island each get a plastic or metal (your choice) dish set with one plate, one cup, and one bowl. You also each get one metal fork, spoon, butter knife, and steak knife. In addition, you each get a cloth napkin, an extra pair of shoes, an extra pair of socks, an extra pair of underwear, a comb, five tooth brushes, ten tubes of toothpaste, twenty bars of soap, ten safety razors, a pillow, a towel, a 200 page notebook, and ten pencils. You also get one of each of the following items, to be shared by everyone: a hand mirror, a pair of nail clippers, a pair of scissors, a small sewing kit with 20 yards of thread and 3 needles, a pencil sharpener, a two gallon metal pot, and one comfortable wooden chair.

E (5 points): I Have The Power!

You get a full complement of electrically charged, battery-operated power tools, including a chainsaw, circular saw, jigsaw, nail gun, power drill with thousands of screws and all necessary bits and tips, a sander, a versatile multi-tool with several different head attachments, and a laptop with anything you can imagine on it (music, books, movies, games, porn, etc.), except no internet access. The same power restrictions for the iPad apply to the laptop; three hours of charging equals six hours of use. All tools are two hours of charging for one hour of use, and they can be charged up to allow for two hours of continuous use, each.

Category 5: Luck (Optional)

A (1 point): Timely Vasectomy

Just before being stranded, all the males on the island had a vasectomy performed, so there’s no worry of pregnancy complications. Also, all males get a frozen package of peas for their groin on the first day.

B (2 point): Pests-Be-Gone

There are no snakes, spiders, or mosquitoes on the island, nor are there any other kinds of biting or stinging land creatures. There are still sharks in the water. Also, you and those you are with on the island never get horribly sick, and no one is allergic to anything on the island.

C (3 points): One Man’s Trash…

Because of where the island is situated, stuff occasionally washes up on the shore. It might be a car tire, or it might be a bag full of garbage from someone who lives in Duluth, Minnesota. Every week, something new and random washes up. It’s never edible, it’s always garbage, but it just might provide you with useful raw materials. At the very least, it provides you with interesting new things on a regular basis.

D (4 points): A Little Flare

You get a flare gun with 5000 flares. It’s not much good as a weapon, but if you shoot it into a pile of tinder, it will start a fire. Also, this will be used in year 7 to catch the eye of a passing ship, and you will be rescued 3 years early.

E (5 points): Breaking the Rules

By selecting this option, you can choose any option from any category, despite having picked from that category already. It will cost you no additional points, only the 5 points required to select this option. This cannot be used to select any “E” option. You may select an option twice in order to gain double the benefit. You can also use this to select two options from the “Luck” category, but they cannot be two of the same option, and the total amount of points these two luck selections are worth must not exceed five.

1 comment:

  1. Most I like is the solo option. I need a quiet place where to get rid of the city noice.


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