I’m a pretty sophomoric guy, and Christianity is full of strange things most people don’t think about that a prurient mind like mine can’t help but notice. Here are two of my favorites:
Exhibit A: The Holy Prepuce
Jesus, like all Jews before and after him, was circumcised. This means the foreskin on his penis was cut off. Now, it seems unlikely, but many have claimed that someone had the “fore”sight to hold onto Jesus’ willy-hood. Nobles, kings, bishops and popes in the middle ages went “nuts” for Jesus memorabilia of all kinds: parts of wood claiming to be from the cross to which Jesus was nailed, the infamously fake Shroud of Turin, etc. Churches even held onto what they swore was part of Christ’s crotch.
Exhibit B: Mary’s “Virginity”
I’m not going to make the case here that Mary was not a virgin. The fact is, she was not, but most Christians will not accept that. So, according to Christianity, Mary’s hymen was intact when she gave birth to Jesus. For those not in the know, the hymen is the medical name of the membrane of skin that is broken when a woman loses her virginity (or falls on a fence post as a kid, or rides a horse often). According to Christians, this means Jesus took his mother's virginity during the birth process, technically popping his own mother’s cherry, making him the youngest man to ever do so. Add that to his list of accomplishments, if you dare. But stop calling Mary the “Eternal Virgin;” Jesus had siblings (notably James).