Reflection on Infanticide

It’s tough to gauge the outcome of my last post, where I advocated (quite poorly) for infanticide. On one hand, I had 100 unique visitors for the day; on the other, I lost a follower. On one hand, it was argued horribly; on the other, it was to the point and opened the topic up to discussion.

Really, the article was meant to rile up a group that was largely silent. I don’t know if I’m already off the radar, or if it will just take time for the content to circulate into the hands of the kind of people I expected would react, but I got basically no conservative opposition. Instead, I got abortion advocates telling me how sacred the point of birth was (which was entertaining in a twisted sort of way).

So, as expected, I didn’t convert anyone to the pro-infanticide camp (a very lonely and creepy tent, by the way). I will be honest (and I don’t think anyone is surprised here), I did not think this one through very thoroughly. Shocking, I know. I will continue to ponder the nature of my modest proposal and perhaps work on making my case better in the future.

And before you think I’m a horrible person, just remember: your kids are safe around me. It’s my future children who had better watch it. “But Bret, how could you kill your own newborn child?” To which I have to reply… have you seen how flimsy babies are? It’s not very difficult at all. Also, it’s easier if you don’t name it until you’re sure you’re keeping it. Also, use object pronouns instead of personal ones in order dehumanize it.

I’m joking, of course. I wouldn’t hurt my own kids, because my wife and I take measures to ensure we only have kids when we want to have kids, and she’s in touch with her body enough to not accidentally get pregnant and go into labor like some kind of television reality freak show. [Though after this whole thing, she may be rethinking the kids plan…]

If you’re considering killing your kids, stop and think about it. Wouldn’t you rather they go through the foster system, being juggled between religious extremists and child molesters before growing up and going to prison? At least then they have a chance at happiness.