Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Top Ten: Things White Guys Don’t Say

10. It’s Caucasian-American, please.
9. No sun block for me, thanks.
8. Let’s stop and ask for directions.
7. No thanks, I don’t eat meat.
6. I wish I weren’t a guy.
5. I wish I weren’t white.
4. I’m racist.
3. Asian girls don’t do it for me.
2. I’m sick of watching the Big Lebowski.
1. I don’t know.


  1. I'll be perfectly willing to say #1 if the need ever arises. ;-) And, of course, the fact that I don't say "I'm racist" must mean I am. It just follows.

  2. I've met black people who have openly admitted to being racist, Asian people too (I would argue Asians are the most racist people I've ever met, even), but I have yet to see a white guy say he's racist, even the ones who clearly are.

    And I say #1, too... just not publicly.

  3. Well, I'm sort of red headed, I needs my sunblock !

    I'm the goto guy for directions. People ask me all the time where something is. My ex called me last week, she needed directions to get to Tupelo Mississippi, as I started telling her how to get there, she said, "wait, how do I get there from Birmingham?"
    "Birmingham isn't in MS, Darlin. Why are you there (at least 100 miles out of the way)?"
    "Well, I had to stop at my company's office here" She said.

    "Well, I know dick about Birmingham."
    Then, she got upset. I hate when they cry, even an ex :(
    After 20 minutes of trying to soothe her, she informs me, "Well, I suppose I could check the GPS in my car"

    "WTF????" as I hang up on her.

    Apparently, white chicks won't ask a stranger for directions either.


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