Ending The War

Today is Thanksgiving, November 25th, and tomorrow is the biggest shopping day of the year, the official start of the bloated Christmas season: an entire month of commercialized material excess and gratuitous religious iconography, both Christian and pagan.

Manger scenes, Yule logs burning for Thor, and Santa (whoever he is, be he Saint Nick or Odin) will be common sights where ever you go for the next month, not to mention salespeople resisting the urge to pierce their eardrums with candy canes when "Frosty the Snowman" plays for the 500th time that day in the store.

There's also a spark in the air that can mean only one thing: it's the beginning of the war on Christmas. You know, that time of year when evil secular atheists foam at the mouth with anger over the celebration of the birth of Mithras Jesus.

Despite America being saturated with Christmas cheer for a solid month, Christians breathlessly throw their arms in the air with mock outrage at any complaint regarding the separation of church and state, let alone any atheist's attempt to voice their opinion or feelings on the matter.

In reality, there is no war on Christmas, only a war on secularism, and it ramps up around the holidays. It's odd, really, because Christians are always saying that this is the time of year when we should put differences aside, but apparently they really mean, "This is the time of year atheists should just shut up."

It's an odd situation, because most atheists I know celebrate Christmas. If I were a petty asshole who was part of some religion, perhaps I would recommend that people stop celebrating Christmas, or that atheists should fight legal battles over public displays of religious iconography. I just don't care, because secularism and atheism are not a religion, and I know nothing bad is going to happen just because Christians are having a good time.

There is a fundamental difference I have noticed between atheists and Christians. While not a tried and true rule, Christians get really upset when other people are having a good time doing something they don't do. They're threatened by homosexuals getting married, premarital sex, blasphemy, other religions, people without religion... all sorts of victimless "crimes."

On the other hand, I don't care. I don't care if people celebrate Christmas. In fact, I have never even heard of an atheist who believes anything even resembling the idea that Christmas should be abolished or attacked, so where does this "War on Christmas" nonsense come from?

Quite simply: Christianity just works that way. Personally, I would like to call a cease fire, but as is often the case, this was a war started by Christians, and they have no desire of ending it. But why?

Well, to understand the artificially manufactured war on the artificially manufactured holiday of Christmas, you have to get to the very heart of the psychology behind Christianity. To put it bluntly, Christians love to be victims. They need to be victims. They imagine themselves as pious, noble beacons of light shining in a dark world that is out to extinguish them. They imagine themselves hanging up on a cross alongside Jesus, suffering at the hands of brutal oppressors.

Does the fact that Christians are the overwhelming majority in America change anything? No. Does the fact that Christmas is not actually under attack make any difference? Not really. Does the idea of Christians standing up for their Lord and Savior give them a huge faith boner? You betcha.

So it's like this... Christians want a war on Christmas, and atheists don't seem to be willing to fight it. Christians need to feel oppressed (because their faith tells them they will be), while no one is stepping up to oppress them because, frankly, it's scary to stand up to such a large and violent group of crazy people. The solution? I have no idea, but I hope it involves chocolate.