Friday, July 13, 2012

Republican Platform for 2112

No gays on Mars
No funds for cities “under water” due to “Global Warming”
Repeal the national grenade/land mine/missile ban
Outlaw clone-on-clone sex
Cut funding for search for extraterrestrial life
Increase anti-alien weapons funding
Ban the teaching of science from public schools
Keep Guantanamo Bay open
Affirm that the National Religion is Mormonism


  1. It was somewhat funny, until you got to "Affirm that the National Religion is Mormonism." Romney's a Mormon. Get over it. The Mormons aren't the problem with the Republican party, it's the Southern-strategy reactionary Christians.

  2. Are not the Mormons also Christian?

    1. I think so, some don't. But I don't think that was the point...

      What that Anonymous commenter is talking about is the Southern-strategy, instituted by Nixon, which swung Republicans around toward catering to the pro-racism, pro-evangelical voters in the South. This culminated in the 80s with Reagan's "Religious Right." Mormons tend to center in the West.

      I'm of the opinion that Mormonism will become far more popular in the future. It's growing quickly, it's a religion that loves America, and they're really annoying... so I can definitely see that being the future direction of the Republican Party.


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