Monday, June 1, 2009

Scattered Thoughts

I have some random, disparate ideas I have been pondering for a while. Some are open questions, some are statements of observation, some are meant to be funny, some are meant to sound pseudo-wise. I just want to get them off my chest.

I have yet to hear anyone define the words "good" or "bad" to my satisfaction, yet is doesn't seem to stop any of us from frequently using them with mutual understanding.

American politics are to democracy what professional wrestling is to sports: a lot of talk, very little action, and completely rigged.

Politicians on both sides go on and on about "family values," when what they really support is childhood naivete. The family isn't just children, it's also young and fully grown adults.

GOP: Gang Of Puritans, Gadflies Of Progress, Greed Over Prosperity, Gamble Our Pensions, Gag Order Politics, Greasey Old Perverts

It is strange to me that those who speak of "destroying the self" spend so much time alone in their own thoughts, "meditating."

Why do we only consider a man sane when he remains part of an insane system?

I think medical science is a rodent conspiracy. We have treatments for every disease that could ever be contracted by rats and mice.

If over half the population was depressed, would they diagnose happiness as a disorder? I'm sure they would if they found a pill that prevented it. What would they call it? Miserol? No, you need letters from the end of the alphabet for new medication... something like Sadizine or Depressix.

I don't know which teaches you more: words of wisdom or the follies of fools. I do know which is more entertaining.

My wedding went off without a hitch, although we got hitched.

Maybe everything has to die to ensure that nothing awful remains forever.

If I had followed half of the advice I've given, I'd be twice the man I am today.

Regarding God's omnipotence, I do know this: the Christian God DOES have limits. He failed and had to flood the world once, and Jesus was frequently frustrated by people's lack of comprehension. If there's one thing out of God's control, it's clearly us... and He can't believe how stupid we are.

Republicans know that once they can marry the same sex, they are one step closer to their darkest fantasy: marrying their pet. Sick people.

If someone asks you if you're wearing boxers or briefs, and you're going commando, they don't try to argue that being underwearless is a style of underwear. So why do people think atheism is a religion?

I know Jesus loves me, but I think He's rushing things. I barely know Him, I mean He hasn't even friended me on Facebook. In fact, I never even thought of Him as anything more than a fuck buddy. It's not Him, it's me. I just think we should see other deities.

Christians only talk about being like Jesus. If they actually did act like him, they might not be so annoying, and the world would be a better place. Just imagine, every Christian hanging on a cross... truly heaven on Earth.

It is time for white people to take some heat. We've been on the top shelf so long we're not even good anymore. No one likes stale crackers.

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