Wednesday, January 4, 2012

God Currently 0 for 2 in Republican Primary

With Michele Bachmann dropping out of the race, this makes two failed candidates for the Republican nomination who have claimed that God told them to run. The first was Herman Cain, who apparently got the message from God to run for president between harassing innocent women and cheating on his wife with a long-time mistress he showered with gifts.

Now, Michele Bachmann, who told us last summer that she believed that God was “calling” her to run, has dropped out. Maybe it was a prank calling… maybe God does have a sense of humor (or is just really bored).

In any case, this won’t be the last one. When Perry inevitably drops out, that will make three. I think that will be the last of them, though. Huntsman, Gingrich, Santorum and Romney have all shied away from claiming a divine endorsement.

Still, that will put God at 0 for 3 this year, not a good record for the Almighty.

I’d like to end on some advice for my religious readers: maybe if you want to keep up the charade of an all-knowing, all-powerful, ultimate being that controls the universe and talks to you, stop saying that God is using you. Be honest… you’re just trying to use God… and failing miserably.


  1. I really believe Herman Cain ran as a publicity stunt to promote his book and he never expected to be the front runner.

  2. I found it funny that Michele believed God's plan for the universe included her running for the GOP nomination in 2012, only to have her withdraw after the first contest. Some plan.

  3. Maybe God is a bad planner. Case in point: some people are born with vestigial tails.


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