Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Top Ten: Reasons for Supporting Ron Paul

10. He’s the only real Christian Republican candidate (Did you know Santorum and Gingrich are Catholic?!).

9. His interpretation of the First Amendment; he read, “Congress shall make no law,” and stopped.

8. Something, something, Federal Reserve, something…

7. Because fuck the environment.

6. I’m tired of eating in restaurants next to some coon.

5. I like his tax plan, because it saves me enough money to buy another private island.

4. A stray cat said Ron Paul will rescue me from the aliens in my fingernails.

3. *sound of water bubbling* What was the question, again, man? *cough*

2. All the guys in my frat like him.

1. I should be allowed to jerk off on my roof. It’s my roof, and if they have a problem with it, they should move the school.

1 comment:

  1. Whew! After reading the heading I thought you had lost your nut and I was prepared to counter with 10 reasons not to vote for Ron Paul. Thanks for sparing me both eventualities.


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