Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Response to a Comment on Homosexuality and Choice

I did a post recently about homosexuality and choice, and I got some interesting feedback. First, thanks to The Nerd for some support and corrections, since I certainly need it on this kind of topic. I’m pretty boring sexually, so it’s really reaching on my part when I try to write on this topic. I rely on the ideas of others on this matter, and the best I can do is synthesize all the opinions I have heard, so my personal ignorance creeps in frequently.

One comment I want to address in detail, and I figured I could do a whole post on it. The comment was left by Andrew, and is reproduced in whole below:

I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this.

As a man who is homosexual, I would certainly say that it does matter a great deal whether or not sexual identity and sexual preferences are genetic, hormonal, or chosen. I don't think it should matter in culture and morality, particularly not in Western Culture where freedom of choice is highly valued, but I can assure you that the knowledge that there exists very real evidence for a genetic influence on homosexuality offers me and many others a sense of relief. I feel better knowing that there isn't something I or anyone else did to make me turn out this way. Settled in that fact I feel more free to go about living my life as I choose. As far as being perceived as diseased, I see that as a non-issue. I will believe that homosexuality is a disease when being a redhead becomes classified as a disease.

If you will forgive my being so presumptuous, it seems to me that your (justified) hesitancy to embrace labeling people because of the harm that it does is causing you to outright reject the possibility that homosexuality might actually be a condition that people are predisposed to. Yes, culture has a very strong effect on how people perceive their own sexuality and how they act it out, but I doubt its effect on peoples' innate sexual desires. With regards to the claimants of chosen sexuality, an application of Occam's razor with my knowledge of culture and sexuality would suggest that these individuals are just bisexuals who have been repressed or otherwise neglected a portion of their sexuality.

I don't really know how to end this... so, um, I would love to hear your comments, thanks.


First off, thanks for the comment. Hopefully nothing I said upset you, because that’s wasn’t my intent. Also, I hope I didn’t appear to be claiming “all” people who identify as gay are a certain way. My intent was more to point out some concerns I have with the dogmatic nature of one particular claim coming from the gay community.

Let me be clear: I’m pretty confident in saying that most people who consider themselves gay don’t choose to be attracted to people of the same gender. I also would not be surprised if many people who have same-gender attraction wish they could stop (these are the ones I feel most sorry for of all). Hopefully it was clear that I’m not accusing gay people of a massive conspiratorial cover-up regarding homosexuality and choice.

Now, onto the actual concerns Andrew brought up…

I’ve stated so before (if I wasn’t so lazy, I would find the post), but I think the genetic defense argument is weak on many grounds. My principle concern is, suppose I was attracted to children. I didn’t choose to have that attraction, but acting on it is immoral. Or, I could be inclined to want to chop up women into little pieces and lay in a bathtub full of body parts.

The point isn’t that gay people are like pedophiles or serial killers, the point is that a lot of urges might not be choices, but if society thinks they’re wrong, we’re expected to suppress them. Homosexuality is harmless, unlike those other inclinations, so it’s okay to give in to those urges (at least, in my view). However, saying “I was born this way” is not justification for a behavior. It simply isn’t, I’m sorry. It’s a piss-poor, weak argument which has no place in public discourse.

Now that I have you thinking I compare gay people to child molesters… clearly I have endeared you to my side and I can continue.

I don’t know if there is or is not a link between homosexuality and genetics. It’s possible, I suppose, though I find it highly unlikely. Sexual attraction is a very complex emotional response to a whole host of chemical, visual and cultural stimuli. I don’t think genetics can code for whether I would prefer to play the guitar over the bass, or whether I will like beef more than pork. Then again, some people are genetically pre-disposed to be disgusted by the taste of cilantro, so I can see how the concept is possible.

I think it’s more likely (and most scientific research I have read on the matter seems to confirm) that things like sexuality may be heavily affected by hormones, especially the levels of those in the mother during pregnancy. Still, I would hate for this to be the case…

While many gay people say they take comfort in knowing it’s genetic or hormonal, I think it’s borderline scary. Suppose we prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that homosexuality is caused by genetics or hormones. What then? Will Christian parents abort their gay babies, or treat hormonal imbalances to ensure straight children? While you write off gay people being considered sick as a non-issue to you, it was a major problem for previous generations when homosexuality literally was defined and treated like a disease.

It’s not about whether you believe homosexuality is a disease, my friend. They don’t drag you off for shock treatment because you think you’re sick. I know you aren’t, but certain individuals who enjoy kneeling down in front of a scantily clad man with six-pack abs and arms outstretched just might.

I openly embrace the fact that people are often predisposed to homosexuality. Any amount of time studying biology will reinforce that fact, because no species I have ever heard of exhibits purely heterosexual tendencies. From apes to zebras, there are critters that prefer sexual relationships with members of their own gender across the whole animal kingdom. When people claim “homosexuality isn’t natural,” I’m very quick to point out how wrong they are. It’s 100% natural… I just question whether we can (or should) pin it all on genetics or hormones.

If I may be so bold, while you claim that certain types of people who choose to be gay are bisexual, I believe that everyone is bisexual. I have zero doubt that there is the potential in everyone to be attracted to the other sex. Certain cultures have ubiquitous homosexuality practiced by the entire population. In my eyes, that proves that there simply are no “straight” people. We as a culture make people straight.

My “straightness” is largely a condition of socialization. I have no doubt that if I was raised around more images of two men kissing, I wouldn’t be uncomfortable around it. I liken it to the way I reacted around a man and woman kissing when I was five. My perception of male-male sexuality is essentially stunted by a culture that does not depict such things, except in the context of humor, and in truth… I often laugh more than any other single response when presented with the image of two men kissing. It’s not socially acceptable to do that in some cases, so I might look away to prevent myself from giggling like a little child.

Why don’t I have the same stigma about female-female sexuality? Come on… do I have to spell it out for you? Our culture depicts lesbians as sexy. There’s nothing hotter than two chicks going at it… except maybe having them invite me in at the end (I only need 30 seconds, I swear).

Oy… this came out much more crudely than I intended.

Maybe that cleared things up. If not, feel free to call me out on my ignorance and I’ll give it another whirl.

9 comments:

  1. I didn't read the original post, but reading this, I think you're wrong in at least 2 sections:

    1. If Christians admitted that homosexuality is settled before birth (which is strongly suggested in males, and has been for at least a decade now) then although they might want to abort homosexual fetuses or enforce hormonal treatments in the womb, they would be likely to leave homosexuals alone. And stop trying to make them, as adults, into something they can't be. (Which is why most Christians refuse to accept the science.)

    2. You said: "My “straightness” is largely a condition of socialization. I have no doubt that if I was raised around more images of two men kissing, I wouldn’t be uncomfortable around it." You might not be uncomfortable, but your orientation almost certainly wouldn't be altered. If we decided to outlaw the eating of shellfish, it would do nothing to alter the rate of shellfish allergies in the populace.

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    1. "If we decided to outlaw the eating of shellfish, it would do nothing to alter the rate of shellfish allergies in the populace."

      Not -entirely- accurate. Shellfish allergies would rise (albeit slowly and gradually) due to that selective pressure/mechanism being eliminated.

      Splitting hairs, I know. Sorry :D

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    2. Just a commit, I was reading a man haveing intercourse (rectumly) is just that.And if a man has anul sex with an animal is phiscalley the same thing. So if a man marries a man for haveing this type of sex, then a man should be able to mary an animal. this is coverd in the Atheist Handbook for santanic Rituals. My self am proud to be a Christian which is much tougher
      than claiming to be a homosexual. Seems they think they are born without sinn, must be nice....

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    3. I'm pretty sure it's harder to be gay than to be Christian.

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  2. If we decided to outlaw the eating of shellfish, it would do nothing to alter the rate of shellfish allergies in the populace.

    You think homosexuality is an allergy to the opposite gender?

    I kid.

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  3. I remember reading a study that said identical twins have a 60% chance of being gay if their identical twin is gay, but fraternal twin have some lower probability (like 30% or something don't quote me on it). This indicates there is some genetic component to being gay, since identical twins share 100% of their genetic material vs. on average 50% for fraternal twins, and both twins are presumably facing the same hormonal imbalances in the womb. However the fact that 40% of people who have a gay identical twin are NOT gay, indicates that there is something else in addition to whatever genetic/ hormonal things that may influence sexual orientation.

    So the answer is "all of the above."

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    1. Hey Doctor Wife. Is that taking into account environment? Are these studies on twins separated at birth or who grew up in the same home?

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    2. First, thank you for taking the time to respond to my comments, I really appreciate that.

      Second, thank you for your clarifications. Those were helpful.


      Third, more comments!

      I will be among the first to admit that the "born this way" argument is very poor, but I believe it stands as a mainstay for two good reasons: 1) as I said in my comment it offers relief to the LGBTQI... individuals themselves. When confronting the idea that you are terrible because of who you are it really helps to know that you had no choice in the matter. It helps to turn the judgment of yourself into anger towards those who would judge you. It's a first step towards a healthier perspective. 2) It continues to work. There are so many people in the USA (where all of my experience and knowledge applies) who still believe it is a choice. When you display irrefutable evidence that it is not it can shock them into being more accepting. Usually the surprise people feel at realizing they were wrong about the cause can lead them to reevaluate things further. Obviously it shouldn't matter at all where it comes from; if you believe it's wrong then you believe it's wrong. Homosexuality wouldn't be the first innate tendency that the Christian god despised. It may be a bit underhanded and deceptive, but if a bad argument works is there really much incentive to stop using it?

      Next issue: If it is ever 100% what exactly the biological origins of homosexuality are, I can only pray that the anti-abortion stance of the religious right carries through to all of the unborn. Hopefully we will have laws in place that prevent the abortion of a child based on gender, orientation, mental retardation, or other viable conditions. As far as hormone treatments to "cure" gay fetuses... I don't care. I may be the minority in the gay community, but I would not mind if doctors completely eliminated human homosexuality through humane treatments. I don't see that happening since it is highly unlikely that homosexuality will ever be reclassified as a disease in the medical community (it still is called a disease in much of the religious community). I just don't see that the somewhat different perspective on gender relations that is offered by homosexuals is of sufficient value in a developed society to warrant the continued existence of homosexuality as a condition. Of course this is hypothetical because a massive anti-homsexuality treatment campaign that has the support of a large proportion of medical professionals is improbable.

      Lastly, I am still at odds with the idea that all people are bisexual. I have no doubt that most or all people are capable of having an enjoyable time (and achieving orgasm) with people of both genders or neither. However, in my schema this would not be considered bisexuality. I can envision myself having sex with a woman, but it is not desirable. It is not preferred. Stimulation would have to be entirely physical; not visual, not pheromonal, not mental/emotional. This is why I would consider this interaction to be outside of my sexual orientation and why I would consider myself and others like me to be "monosexual", which may be amongst the most unnecessary terms ever coined.

      Thanks again for taking the time to respond!

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    3. It may be a bit underhanded and deceptive, but if a bad argument works is there really much incentive to stop using it?

      I hear ya. It might not be what Plato had in mind when he coined the idea of a "Noble Lie," but far be it from me to tell gay people that the religious have a monopoly on effective fallacies. Maybe once there is a little more equality, we can chip away at that idea... I know I'd also rather have results than the smug satisfaction of only taking the high road.

      Hopefully we will have laws in place that prevent the abortion of a child based on gender, orientation, mental retardation, or other viable conditions.

      I can't bring myself to support that. I think a woman's right to abort any fetus for any reason trumps all else in this circumstance. Now... if you wanted to make it illegal to test for sexual orientation of the fetus, I would be all ears, but it would have to be delicate and even then, I think you're looking at infringing on people's very personal medical and reproductive rights.

      a massive anti-homsexuality treatment campaign that has the support of a large proportion of medical professionals is improbable.

      I am not in the practice of calling things that have already happened before "improbable." History has a nasty habit of repeating itself. I have a feeling if it was happening, you would oppose it, you just can't seem to even imagine it occurring... again. You must have far more faith in the decency of humanity that I do.

      Lastly, I am still at odds with the idea that all people are bisexual.

      Let me ask you this: if you had sex that you enjoyed with someone who you thought was male, but they turned out to be a female, would that mean you didn't actually enjoy it? As usual, no offense intended. I'm not trying to convert you to also liking women, but I think we make too big of a deal out of gender, when I imagine appearance is probably a large factor.

      What about a world where people of both genders look the same? Based on some raves I went to in the 90s, we may not be that far from such a reality.

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