Multiple Conservative Disorder

What I find most interesting about conservatives is how they choose which of their many bullshit arguments should be applied to a situation. Take Trayvon Martin. Normally, the blanket comment made when an innocent person is shot and killed is, “If only they had been armed.” Indeed, if only Trayvon had been carrying a gun, he could have defended himself… or Zimmerman would have just seemed to have been justified in what he did. Either way, problem solved, right?

I think my favorite conservative flip-flop is on religion, since that’s a topic I always find fascinating. With Obama, it’s been interesting. One day, Obama is a Christian with a crazy preacher who says, “God damn America,” and the next day he’s a secret Muslim… never mind that you cannot secretly be a Muslim. It’s hard to hide yourself from kneeling and praying on a rug five times a day, let alone not eating pork.

Most conservatives seem to say religion is everything in selecting a political leader, and so imagine my shock when this year… they ended up with a Mormon. Suddenly, not only is Romney’s religion “not an issue,” but for the second time in recent memory (Bush being the other), the party who elects a “guy you can have a beer with” is going to vote for a guy who doesn’t even drink.

Then you have global warming. One day they’re denying that the temperature is going up, then the next day (generally the day they find out they’re wrong on that front), they’re suddenly experts on solar seasons and the natural cycles of the sun. They pivot immediately from “Global warming isn’t happening,” to “Well… global warming is real, but it’s not caused by people.” You just never know what conservatives will be arguing today… until Fox News tells them.