Tuesday, April 17, 2012

It’s Time for a Commercial Break…

Tough economic times got you down? Having trouble at work, or difficulty even finding a job? Tired of the never-ending stream of bullshit that is your existence?

I know what you’re thinking: just take 40 Tylenol and you’ll be enjoying a calm, relaxing dirt nap in no time, free of the stresses and responsibilities of your busy, modern life. What an amazing time to want to die…

But why take 40 Tylenol when we all know you’ll pussy out after about 20 and call poison control? Instead, take 10 Aleve, which have all the life-ending strength of four times as many Tylenol.

I’m Bret Alan, urging you to kill yourself… with Aleve.


  1. In the "Colon Blow" spirit, how many aspirin would you have to take to equal those 10 Aleve?

  2. your post reminded me of Louis CK - Turning 40. lol

    1. That was the most flattering comparison I have ever received.

    2. Weird, I wonder if I subconsciously chose "10 Aleve" because of this, because I know I've seen that stand up performance before.

      Kind of sucks that it turns out 10 Aleve won't kill you... but why let science get in the way of a bad joke?


If your comment is too long, break it into multiple comments and post them all.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...