Thursday, April 12, 2012

Pithy News 4/12/12

George Zimmerman is in custody for shooting Trayvon Martin. Asked why he went into hiding for 45 days, he explained that he was enjoying his last month and a half of having control of his bowels.

The economy is starting to turn around. Everyone is happy about it, except Republicans, who still drive SUVs and won’t shut up about gas prices.

Newt Gingrich bounced a $500 check he wrote to be on the ballet in Utah. Newt assures everyone that spending more money than he has is not only acceptable, it’s a proud Republican tradition.

Charles Manson was denied parole at 77 years old, having spent the last 42 years behind bars. This puts an early end to his bid for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination.

16 comments:

  1. Another asshole makes yet another humorless (and disgustingly evil) joke about the unfunny subject prison rape.

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  2. Oh, and here's hoping you end up behind bars someday so you can experience the laughs firsthand.

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    Replies
    1. It's not likely, because I don't stalk children with a gun at night.

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    2. Right, no one goes to prison in the US for non-violent crimes. I forgot that fact.

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    3. Did you forget I'm white?

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    4. Yeah, there are no white people behind bars either. Forgot that one, too.

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    5. Wait! George Zimmerman is white!

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    6. I don't think most people would look at him and think that.

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    7. The vast majority of whites in America are not rich.

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    8. Are the majority of white people in prison wealthy?

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    9. No one would think Zimmerman is white except the New York Times (calling him a "white Hispanic") , Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and all the racist "liberals" who decided Zimmerman must become a victim of politically correct Stalinism.

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    10. What's the KKK's stance?

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  3. I would have paid that just to have seen his eminence on point in a tutu.

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  4. Why 9/12/12?

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    Replies
    1. Whoops, should be 4-12-12. Fixed.

      Delete

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