The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Sociopaths

1. Seem charming, be an asshole – Be nice at first, but once you get what you want out of someone, you can stop pretending that you care. Don’t be ashamed of being an asshole; own the title. Wear it with pride, and derive sheer delight from it.

2. Be feared, not liked – People think nothing of letting down someone they like, but no sane person will let down someone they fear. At all times, be looking for ways in which you can let those around you know that you could ruin them if you chose.

3. Slander – In this fast-paced world, no one has time to fact-check. Do not hesitate to destroy someone’s reputation through exaggeration and lies. The most effective attack is to accuse someone of unethical behavior you are guilty of yourself, as this provides pre-emptive cover from accusations against you (people trust the one who accuses first).

4. Think Win-Lose – It is not enough for you to simply win; others must also lose. Part of the fun of stepping on people to get to the top is that not only are you climbing higher, you are holding others down. Look for ways to pit worthy adversaries against each other, never share credit for a success, and blame others for any failure you encounter.

5. Humiliate – Once someone is down, make sure you break their spirit. If they decide to give up entirely, that’s one less opponent you’ll ever have to face, and if they kill themselves, your morning commute will be that much shorter with one less on the road.

6. Snub – If you don’t like someone, and they refuse to stay defeated, ignore their very existence. Don’t talk to them, don’t make eye contact with them, and whatever you do, never tell them what you’re doing or why.

7. Grind your axe – Never forget those who stood in your way. A list is often helpful here. Once you’re on top, waste no time in crushing those who tried to stop you. Do not show them the mercy of hesitation.