Saturday, March 24, 2012

Snippet: Suits

I sometimes wonder if people who wear suits realize what it signifies to the rest of us. “Look at me, I think I’m more important than you and I can get seated in 5 star restaurants.” I mean, just the horrible people associated with suits should alone be enough to stop wearing them: George W. Bush, Barack Obama, church goers, ACLU lawyers, bankers, Congress, magicians… basically, for all people on all sides, almost all our problems are caused by men who wear suits.

When I see some douchebag walking down the street in a suit, I can’t help but think he’s making himself a target. He’s practically screaming, “I make more money than you, why don’t you mug me?” When will middle- and upper-class men stop dressing in such a fashion?

7 comments:

  1. My dad always hated suits. he called them monkey suits. It was one reason he never sought a promotion to supervisor at the company he worked for for decades. If he'd been promoted, he'd have to wear one.

    Thankfully, even the big wigs where I work don't usually where suits, or even ties. We do have some positions where travel and business relations are concerned, and for those jobs they make you wear a monkey suit.

    Also, we share the building with some investment firm, and they all wear fucking suits. Me and my lowly co-workers pass them in the building lobby wearing blue jeans and untucked shirts, and you can always tell they think they're better than we are. I hate suit-wearing bastards! Every time I see a guy wearing a suit in public, my first thought is, what an asshole.

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  2. Personally, I love wearing suits. But if you guys want to make snap judgements based on outwards appearance, I guess that's cool too.

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    Replies
    1. [This sort of kills the whole purpose, but... this is satire in response to the demonization of hoodies and to some extent also the blame-rape-on-the-victim's-clothing mentality.]

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    2. Gentlemen, I hate wearing suits... but the ladies love them. The suit, as such, fulfills two purposes: intimidate men who do not wear suits, and attract women.

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  3. I wore a suit once. I got married in it. That marriage only lasted 15 years. Had I been in jeans, we might still be together.

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    Replies
    1. I'm planning on getting married wearing only my underwear.

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    2. great idea, Nick...all I need to do is buy some underwear.

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