10. The only thing I love more than sex is abortion.
9. Good deeds are more important than confessions.
8. Jesus was just a guy.
7. No money to tithe right now.
6. The idea of man evolving from dirt is offensive.
5. I won’t blame rape victims.
4. No interest in a heaven without dogs.
3. Gay people don’t seem threatening to me.
2. I refuse to pretend to stop masturbating.
1. Having an invisible best friend is weird for an adult.